As It Winds Down

We drove down to spend the night with Andy & Rachael last night.   This morning I hopped online and started working - remote access is da bomb!   It actually has been a very productive day so far.  I have gotten a lot done, fixed one broken system and finished the setup on a critical testing environment.   Right now I am taking a break while some backups run.  Rachael is bringing me back sushi for lunch - life is good!

This afternoon, we are following Sarah and Dale up to the cabin in Fish Camp to spend New Year's with them and Aaron & Kimi.  Hopefully snow is within driving distance as that is the main reason for going  :)

blessings on your day and I will chat with you all in the New Year.

When does it end?

Yet another mad scramble today.  For the last 10 days, I have done nothing proactive - everything has been as a result of a crisis.  I am truly looking forward to getting out of here for a few days.   Tonight we head down to Fresno to spend the night (and next day) at the Giles' residence.  Tomorrow afternoon we head up to the cabin in Fish Camp (yes, I said Fish Camp) to spend some time with Sarah & Dale and Aaron & Kimi (and Annie).

What are YOUR plans to ring in the New Year????

Waiting?

I was listening to the local Christian radio station on the way home last night and they had the Lincoln Brewster song 'Everlasting God' playing.  At the end, his son Levi reads Isaiah 40:31 from the KJV.  Something about hearing that last night (I have listened to it countless times before) struck a cord - what does "wait on the Lord" really mean?    One of my favorite versions translates the word as "trust" but it goes beyond that.  The word is similar to the word for how a servant "serves" his/her master.   Waiting on the Lord means to watch and listen for His commands - it means to be ready to move, to trust completely, to rely on for sustenance and shelter (the master has responsibilities to the servant as well).

As you go this day, try "waiting on the Lord" and see how it changes your perspective.
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Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

How was your Christmas?

Ours was really good.  Emma had to work both the 24th and the 25th so that presented a few challenges.   I worked from home the 24th and Andy helped me get the soup ready to take over to mom & dad's.   Emm got home about 3:30 and we were over to the party before 5.  Everyone had a really good time (as far as I could tell) and it was great to see the kids that were able to come up for the evening.  Friday, Jocelyn cooked Christmas dinner for us (well I cooked the roast but that was the easy part).

Noah, Emma and I celebrated Christmas at 5:30 (yes that is a.m.) before she had to go to work and Noah finally got his B.B. gun.  It was a pretty big surprise as we didn't put it under the tree until the night before and had him thoroughly convinced he wasn't getting one.  Noah used his own money to buy presents for Emma and I which was amazingly thoughtful and considerate.


This weekend we relaxed for the most part.  We hit a few stores Saturday and went to church Sunday before  running a few more errands.  If it wasn't for putting in a full day of work after dinner Saturday night, it would have been a perfect weekend.

Tired and Fuzzy

I spent much of the weekend working (along with my boss), recovering form the hardware failures that we had last week.  In the end, one of the environments will be offline for a while forcing me to switch to one of the backups (praise God the option exists).  I am definitely at a low point physically and feel like I am coming down with a cold besides.  Do you ever feel like you need to sleep under a tree for a week or so?

I think part of it is that my focus is slipping.  I haven't been to class for almost 10 days so I have not been getting the reinforcement I need to stay focused.  It is definitely a struggle to stay motivated.  What I really want is to curl up on the couch with my wife and watch something that doesn't take a lot of concentration to follow.

May your day be blessed

Merry Christmas

As we get ready to head over to the family gathering, I wander through the Christmas email from my absent friends.   Listening to Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin Christmas CDs and smelling the pot of soup I have on the range (an Italian bean soup that we call minestrone but looks nothing like what you get at a restaurant).  It is in the low 50's today here in NorCal and the skies are clear.   I stopped and prayed for those that are currently being hammered by blizzards right now.

I made the boy stop whining about opening a present early to read me Luke 2 from his bible.   It seemed to improve his mood a bit.  I finished up my tasks at work (mostly getting things ready for the Saturday maintenance window) and am ready to head upstairs and start getting ready.  Emma comes home from work soon (she always wants a shower after a shift in Oncology) so I need to be out of her way.

blessings on your day and have a very blessed and joyous celebration of the birth of my Lord

Tough Day - 2

So as we are in the process of recovering from the hardware failure of Sunday, we had another significant failure this morning.  Eventually you get to the point where you can only laugh and throw your hands in the air.  The failure today MAY be recoverable with only (only!) the loss of the time we spent working on the systems last night and today.   One would think that the holidays apply enough stress and anxiety without having to add unusual levels at your job.

I guess it provides some opportunities - opportunities to respond with grace, to not take it out on family and coworkers, to stay calm and composed, to avoid retreating into withdrawal and addiction, to let God have control and to learn to take life as it comes.

blessings on YOUR day  :o)

A Tough Day

Yesterday was pretty rough here at work.  We had a major hardware failure on Sunday that destroyed several key environments (not our main production ones, thankfully).   Our team spent almost 24 hours trying to recover systems.  We had intended to deploy several new servers after the first of the year.  We were forced to dramatically accelerate that schedule.  It will be a week or more before everything is back and running again.   As a result, I may not be around as much as I had hoped.

blessings on your day

Time Is Short

Lying in the bed, watching the family gather - the hospice nurse hovering nearby.  Saying goodbye, remembering, sharing, weeping quietly.  The smell of death and chemicals mix with the scents of the food that friends and neighbors have brought by.   Music playing softly in the background - perhaps the Christmas station.   People talking softly - almost whispering, as if the man in the bed must not hear them talk of death.

As he lies there - let's say it - dying and drifting in and out of sleep, he is aware.  He hears the voices, smells the food, watches the people shift around him.  He has made his peace, said his goodbyes, communicated his wishes.  The service has been set, the arrangements have been made - all is ready.  For a long time he thought he might win the battle.  Progress was made, treatments were administered, doctors were consulted.  That time is long past.  He has known for quite a while that the fight was over - the cancer has spread, there is no cure - only waiting.

Now - here - at the end, he waits.   He grieves inwardly for the pain of those he leaves behind while at the same time yearning for relief - relief from the pain, the weariness, the disease that has destroyed his body.  The time is soon, maybe hours, a few days at most.  He wonders what he might have done differently.  Do the children know how much he loves them?  Does his wife?   Letting go, trusting God to take care of them.

He has done well, lived a good life - even if it has been far shorter than he had planned.  He has finished the race and is ready to hear "Well done good and faithful servant."   He knows - oh yes he does!   Jesus is stretching out His hand - waiting for him to come home.   He knows what awaits him on the other side.  Too many live in fear and terror of death but there is no mystery - no confusion in his mind.    God has promised and He always keeps His promises.   Soon now, he gets the opportunity - the opportunity he has been waiting for all his life - to meet his Savior and his Lord face to face.

Goodbye Dan, may God ease your passing and keep your family in His care.  We will miss you.

After a Long Week

Coming to the close of the (work) week today.  Yesterday afternoon we had a brief power outage at work where I learned that the UPS under my desk no longer has the "U" part.  (UPS = Uninterruptible Power Supply, in short a battery backup system).   This morning I got up before the sun (not hard to do this time of year) and headed over to Panera Breads for the men's bible study.  Today we focused on remembering how God has blessed us this last year :o)  I find that I have a great deal to be thankful for - including an amazing wife, awesome children and wonderful friends.

This Christmas will be a struggle for me (and mine) more so than usual.  As I strip away my prior coping mechanisms (my addictions), I am left with very few tools for handling the stress that comes with holidays in blended families.  To add challenges to that, 2 of the nights that I usually attend recovery meetings are preempted by Christmas and New Year's celebrations for the next two weeks.  Actually this is an opportunity for me to find my OWN methods and strategies for coping and staying in recovery.  I am quite sure God will see me through it safely.

I was talking to Rae today about this and letting her know that I regret how unavailable I am to her and her siblings right now and expressing my hope that this will help me be a healthier and more available dad in the future.

Tonight Emma and I are attending my company "holiday" party.  Sunday we are taking Noah to see The Nutcracker downtown.   Saturday I help K-Man with math and try to get all the chores done for the weekend,

have a blessed day

Feast or Famine

Work makes me crazy at times.  Monday & Tuesday I was at a loss as to what to work on.  Yesterday I ended up at the opposite end of that spectrum.   I am currently buried and a bit over whelmed.  Yet in spite of that I managed to download the latest beat of Google's Chrome this morning and install the critical add-ons (Xmarks and the IE emulator).  It is a lot a of fun and a pretty darn good browser.  Thanks to the IE emulator, I can keep only one browser open at work (I loathe IE and will only use it for those critical company sites that simply won't work under any other browser).

A Recommendation

Occasionally I stumble over something that is worth a second look.  Rarer still is a site that warrants being bookmarked.  Once in a VERY great while, I find something so profound that I feel I need to share it.  The blog, A Holy Experience is such a site.  The author (Ann Voskamp) is one of those rare individuals who not only has an amazing heart for Jesus but has managed to allow us inside to see it.  Her inspirational messages touch my heart more often than not and her skill as a photographer is truly wonderful.  Please stop by and visit her blog if you get the chance (I have a permanent link to the left).

Wreckage

Over the the last 50 years, I have left a lot of rubble and wreckage in my wake.  Lots of my family and friends have been caught up in that and have had to live with the ruin of relationships, my emotional absence and general dysfunction.  Part of the process of rebuilding who I am includes coming to grips with the damage I have caused and being accountable whenever it is safe to do so.  If you, the reader, are one of those that has been impacted by this, feel free to express that to me without fear of retribution or censure.

Sometime next year (many months from now) I will be starting my quest to find as many of you as I can and expressing this in person and in detail.  Until that time comes, please know that you are on my heart and on my mind.

~dave

God is Fun

The VOTD (verse-of-the-day) yesterday was from Ecclesiastes and clearly puts to rest the common misconception among may people that "God doesn't want us having fun."   I have lost track of the number of times I have heard this from non-Christians as well as some sour and dour Christians.  It certainly was the attitude of many of the conservatives among the leadership of the church in the last millennium.

The truth of the matter is that God intended us to take joy in our lives as well as in His creation.  Like any (ok, any healthy) parent, the Father wants His children to be happy and contented.  Now this isn't to say that He wants our life to be nothing but cream and roses.  Many of us parents understand that delivering the world on a silver platter to our children creates monsters.  No, God wants us to be mature, healthy and strong - and that means allowing tribulations and troubles in our lives (not even going to mention the ones we bring upon ourselves by our poor choices).

Yet in that, His desire is that we have times of rest and relaxation.  The next time someone tells you that to be a Christian is to eschew enjoying life and that God doesn't want us to have fun, quote this verse to them.

blessings on your day

Ecclesiastes 8:15, NLT "So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun."

The Giles'

Some good news - Andy has his green-card and is currently job hunting.    The pictures from the English wedding were superb (thanks Jeremy) - email me if you want the link.  They had a great time on their honeymoon in Tuscany and managed to avoid death-by-auto on the Italian road system (apparently it is "ok" to pass someone who is passing someone on a 2-lane road if your have a shoulder to drive on).

It is great having them back in the country and I am looking forward to seeing them both this Christmas sometime.

On a more somber note, Dale was in an accident this week on the freeway.  Good news he didn't get hurt - bad news is the car may be totaled (and it was Sarah's car).  No word yet on if they will get anything from the insurance company.

Losing Control

Step 3 of the famed 12-step process deals with control - primarily in the vein of "who has it."  Of course the biggest problem in my life has always been that *I* have to have control.  Anyone who has spent any time with me will not find the preceding to be any surprise at all.   My cubicle space is highly decorated.  My computing environments are heavily customized.  I have more than a dozen playlists in iTunes.  I have log ins to hundreds of websites (all documented - well mostly).  My family are all certainly aware of my need to control. 

I first addressed this over 10 years ago when I was arrested for domestic violence and spent 18 months in a very good program (Man Alive).  As a result of that experience, my propensity to use violence to gain that control has diminished substantially (not disappeared however).  Now I am struggling to let go of control over a lot of the other things in my life.

For the last decade, I have tried to control my addictions.  The resulting mess has been of epic proportions.  I have discovered what most (all?) recovering addicts know all too well - you have to surrender and "turn it over."  As I slowly loosen my grip on control and cede it to God, I find that for the first time, I see the possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel.

blessings on your day

Shout Out

A quick shout out to my buddy and neighbor Jack-Sean, a long time reader and staunch supporter of this blog.  In the almost 2 years that this blog has been active, JS has never stopped encouraging me to write.

The last year or so has been a rough one for the 'hood.   We have seen lots of changes and lots of heartache.  Through it all, we have stuck together.  We have never given up on each other and never stopped caring (although a few of us won't admit to to being sentimental).   Here's to all the driveway BBQ's, margarita's and poker games.

Cheers!

Oh Give Thanks

The topic last week at one of my sessions was "The Attitude of Gratitude."   This is something that we hear often and generally ignore.  In my life, I find it very difficult to express gratitude and thankfulness when my life feels like it is either out of control or is crashing down around me.  I look at where I am in my life and what has happened over the last few months (or few years) and wonder why I should be thankful.  And yet, if I look closely I can find so much that needs to be acknowledged.   Let me share a few of them with you:

• After a cancer diagnosis at age 48, my screenings come back effectively cancer free 3 years later.
• After losing a high-paying job that I hated, I am back to doing the stuff I love (albeit at a lower salary).
• I have loving parents that took me in when I needed a place to live.
• I have marvelous children that have come together to support and love me.
• With all that we have been through and all the mistakes that have been made, my wife and I are fully committed to making our marriage work and are passionately in love.
  

blessings on your day

Cooking up a Storm

After watching Julie & Julia over the weekend I can't decide if I am more inspired to continue blogging or to find some new recipes.   I love cooking and don't get to do it as often as I like.   I played around with cream-o soup and dijon mustard a bit this last week (was a success according to the family).  Quite a few of the dishes in the movie looked very yummy indeed.  My regret in this area is that I waited so long to try my had at the culinary arts.  I was 40 before I did anything more complex than boiling water (well not counting the use of a grill).

Never too late to follow your dream...

Go Ask Alice

There was a new min-series on SyFy this last week from the producers of Tin Man.  A rather loose adaptation of Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland," Alice was a wonderful and quirky ride into fantasy.  The cast was marvelous (Kathy Bates, Colm Meany, Matt Frewer, Harry Dean Stanton, Tim Curry) and the story line was captivating.  By all means, see it if you get a chance.  Originally aired in 2 parts, it runs 4 hours long (with commercials).

Renewal

As I continue my journey of recovery, I face new challenges almost daily.   My current focus and study involves "renewing my mind" as mentioned by Paul:

Romans 12:1-3 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.  For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

Ephesians 4:22-24 ...that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

As is often the case - simple to state and difficult to put into practice.  Most of our failures (let's use the right terms - sin) starts in the mind. This is especially true for addicts.   I have heard of something called "the 3-second rule" in regards to this.  The idea being that if you spend 3 seconds thinking about a particular temptation, you are almost assured of following through.  The trick is to discipline your mind so that when the temptation comes, you deflect your thoughts to other areas.

There is no magic pill - no silver bullet.  It is a matter of practice and the developing of new patterns and habits.  It is the result of constant failure followed by a renewed determination.  It means surrendering your will, your heart and your mind to God.  It takes changing what you look at, what you listen to and where your mind spends it's idle time.

I will let you know how I do  :o)

Changes

When I started this blog, 600+ posts ago, I was looking for a way to keep friends and family updated on what was going on.  I posted the neighborhood news, events, encouragements, inspirational messages and humor.  What was missing was depth.  Oh it sometimes LOOKED like I was posting "real stuff" but I still avoided anything that would expose too much of who I am.  Lately, I have started down that road - the road of "real."  This isn't to say that I am abandoning all the other things; instead I am expanding and exploring new frontiers.

Again, if you aren't interested in seeing inside "Dave" I would suggest finding other blogs to read.  I will still make some attempt to entertain, inform and amuse but in the process I will provide glimpses insight into who I really am.

blessings on your day

The Best of the Worst

Was reading a random blog earlier today that made a reference to Logan's Run, one of my all time favorite science fiction movies from the past.  There is a definite difference between the old classics and the new, computer generated stuff.  Tron was, in my opinion, the first of the new generation of sci-fi.  Along with Logan's Run you had such thrillers as Plan 9 from Outerspace (yes, you could actually see the wires holding up the hubcap-spaceships), Zardoz starring a young Sean Connery and the original War of the Worlds.

Next time you are at the video store (or on NetFlix), check out some of the classics.

The Day the Earth Stood Still
It Came From Outer Space
Creature from the Black Lagoon
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Time Machine
Fail-Safe
Planet of the Apes 
Silent Running

Shopping

Noah and I went Christmas shopping last night (for mom).  We had a pretty good time.  The mall was not as crowded as I had feared and we were able to get most of what we wanted.  Ended up only having to drive to 3 locations (better than average) and got a good parking spot at the Galleria.  It is early enough in the season that the clerks were even still polite  ;o)

Of course that was the easy part.  The wrapping still awaits us which is the part I dread.  Fortunately Noah likes to wrap gifts still.

Old Friends

Ok, maybe not THAT old but still friends  :o)   Had breakfast this morning at Panera Breads with J.R.  We haven't talked for a long time - close to a year probably.  And truth be told, I have always held back part of myself from the friendship.  Today I let him the rest of the way inside me and told him - well, everything.  As always, he took it in stride and wondered why I waited so long.

Good friends are not necessarily hard to find as much as they take work.  I have quite a few acquaintances but it seems few real friends (yes Domo-buddy and LH, you are both in that select crowd).  Men seem to struggle with this a lot more than women do.  It is so much harder for us to really be totally open and honest with other men.  I guess the fear of being judged is deeply ingrained in us from early childhood onward.

I feel truly blessed to have the friends in my life that I do.   I am working hard to develop some more of these deep, genuine relationships.  The men that I am learning to know in my Tuesday night men's group are amazing and I know that some of them will be friends for life.

To all my friends, old or new - thank you!

Can you see me now?

TMI warning, if you don't want to know what is going on in our lives, skip this post.

If we haven't actually turned the corner, I can say that the corner is in sight.  It has been a long, hard road these last few years.  It started really going badly south in August with my meltdown and then imploded in mid-October when E asked me to move out.

In retrospect, that was the best thing that could have happened.  It acted as a catalyst in both our lives.  We had reached a point where God needed to tear down the existing structures before anything new could be built.  Sometimes renovation simply isn't enough - you need wholesale demolition. 

Now today, as I watch the workman start carting away the rubble that used to be "me" I am in awe of God's grace and mercy in my life.  We see many references to "the God of 2nd chances" in Christian media.  The truth is that I am somewhere into my 2nd or 3rd hundred thousandth second chance.  It is by His grace and mercy that I am still breathing - that I have a job and a family and that I have a wife that loves me.

If you are a regular reader, stay tuned for more posts chronicling this journey.  If you are a casual reader - welcome and come back soon.

What's on your list?

Taking the boy shopping tonight so he can get his mom a present (or 3) for Christmas.  He is seriously stoked and has been nagging at his mom for days to put together a list for him.  Fortunately, I already have a list in case mom can't think of anything  ;)   This year, things are crazier than normal.   The family keeps expanding which complicates things even more.   Nate might come up for a few days the week before so I can spend a little time with him, but the rest will stay down in Clovis (as far as I know).

Sarah texted me (spell check sure doesn't like that word) to tell me to try to find a repeat of the new SyFy miniseries Alice.  It has the guy from Max Headroom in it and is along the same lines as Tin Man.  They have done quite a few interesting shows lately, hope they can continue the momentum.

Broken Brains

Lately I have been making changes to what I "take in" through my ears and eyes.  I listen to secular music only a few hours a week (as opposed to the majority of the time) and have changed up the stuff in my reading list.  Currently I am working my way through Pure Desire (Ted Roberts), The Last Lecture and the Serenity Companion.  Oh I still read other stuff (Family Tree by Sheri Tepper and Just After Sunset by Stephen King). 
Come the 1st of the year, I will add one of my favorite daily devotionals.

Why would I do this?  Simple, it is all part of changing how I think.  We are commanded to renew our minds.  One of the guys at class last night commented that he has spent his life "trying to fix his broken brain with his broken brain."  After I stopped chuckling and started thinking about it I realized how on target he was.  Until we change how we think, we can't fix anything else in our lives.  So, I need to start going to the "mind gym" and get in shape for the coming year.

blessings on your day

Still cold

The cold wave continues - it was 26 this morning and I had to spend a bit of time thawing out Frosty the Snow Car before I hit the road.  I was glad I left early before the majority of the traffic as there was ice on the overpasses this morning.  I heard later that the commute got VERY ugly this morning.  Drivers in the valley really don't know how to drive on ice & snow (lots of which was landing on the roads as it fell off cars coming down from the foothills).

Do you know who is stalking you?

A recent study highlights the fact that far too many people are careless and/or naive when it comes to online safety and privacy.  The researchers sent 200 "friend" request from a phony FaceBook account.  87 people blindly accepted the request and many of those had critical personal data fully exposed.  Displaying education, professional and personal data in it's entirety is far too common on FaceBook.  People freely publish their birthdates (including the year), their primary email address and all the details about their families and pets.  Ironically, older users seem to be less aware (or more trusting) than younger ones.

I kept my FB account for almost a year before deleting it.  During that time my experiences closely mirrored the results of the study.  Very few people made any real attempt to protect their identities.  The world is NOT a safe place - be careful out there.  The full article can be found HERE.

Snow

It snowed a bit in Carmichael last night.  It was a very wet snow and most likely mixed with rain.  Nevertheless, there was a significant amount on my car and still some on the lawn this morning.  Probably too wet and slushy to entertain the kidlets though  :(

Good Morning

We had a nice weekend.  Saturday, after running some errands (had to get the boy a passport), we went over to the Carnrike's to bake cookies and hang out.  We made peanut butter, chocolate crinkle and sugar cookies.   K-Man took a math test online and the boys played with Brogan.   I spent a good part of Sunday afternoon putting chairs together.  We got a pub table with 8 chairs at Sam's Club and of course everything needs to be assembled.  The chairs look really good.  This week sometime we will get the table put up as well.

The Ridge had their Christmas party for the little ones Sunday after church.  The president of William Jessup Univ. was the guest speaker at church.  Sunday night I tried out a new recipe which turned out pretty well (may even get asked to make it again sometime).

blessings on your day

Doctrinal Affirmation

I recognize that there is only one true and living God (Exodus 20:2-3) who exists as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and that He is worthy of all honor, praise and worship as the Creator, Sustainer, Beginning and End of all things (Revelation 4:11, 5:9-10, Isaiah 43:1, 7, 21).

I recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah, the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:1-14).  I believe that He came to destroy the works of Satan (1 John 3:8), that He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public display of them, having triumphed over them (Colossians 2:15).

I believe that God proves His love for me, because while I was still a sinner Christ died for me (Romans 5:8).   I believe that He delivered me from the domain of darkness and transferred me to His kingdom and that in Him I have redemption and the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14).

I believe that I am now a child of God (1 John 3:1-3) and that I am seated with Christ in the heavenlies (Ephesians 2:6).  I believe that I was saved by the grace of God through faith, that it is a gift and not the result of any works on my part (Ephesians 2:8).

I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might (Ephesians 6:10).  I put no confidence in the flesh (Philippians 3:3) for the weapons of my warfare are not of the flesh (2 Corinthians 10:4).  I put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-17) and I resolve to stand firm in my faith and resist the evil one.

I believe that Jesus has all authority in heaven and on earth (Matthew 28:18) and that He is the head over all rule and authority (Colossians 2:10).  I believe that Satan and his demons are subject to me in Christ because I am a member of Christ’s body (Ephesians 1:19-23).  I therefore obey the command to resist the devil (James 4:7) and I command him in the name of Christ to leave my presence.

I believe that apart from Jesus Christ I can do nothing (John 15:5), so I declare my dependence on Him.  I choose to abide in Christ in order to bear much fruit and glorify the Lord (John 15:8).  I announce to Satan that Jesus is my Lord (1 Corinthians 12:3) and I reject any counterfeit gifts or works of Satan in my life.

I believe that the truth will set me free (John 8:32) and that walking in the light is the only path of fellowship (1 John 1:7).  Therefore, I stand against Satan’s deception by taking every thought captive in obedience to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  I declare that the Bible is the only authoritative standard (2 Timothy 3:15-17).  I choose to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

I choose to present my body as an instrument of righteousness, a living and holy sacrifice, and I renew my mind by the living Word of God in order that I may prove that the will of God is good, acceptable and perfect (Romans 6:13, 12:1-2).

I ask my heavenly Father to fill me with His Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18), to lead me in all truth (John 16:13) and to empower my life so that I may live above sin and not carry out the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16).  I crucify the flesh (Galatians 5:24) and choose to walk by the Spirit.

I renounce all selfish goals and choose the ultimate goals of love (1Timothy 1:5).  I choose to obey the greatest commandment, to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind, and to love my neighbor as myself (Matthew 22:37-39).

The Blogosphere

Periodically, I hit the "Next Blog" button and wander through the blogosphere to see what other peeps write about (and have snagged a few goodies in the process).   Lately, 4 out of 5 blogs have something to do with food and about half of those are having give-away contests.  I feel like I have stumbled onto the set of an infomercial.  Seriously, how many glutton-free muffin recipes do we really need?  There is a dearth of interesting content out there.  No wonder no one reads blogs any more, most of them make high school reading lists look interesting.

I feel like I  need to go out and rob a quicky-mart or something so at least MY blog will be interesting.   Maybe it is time to recycle some of my older (more interesting) posts.

Just my $0.02

Well that was interesting...

I submitted this blog to Typealyzer to discover the blog's "personality."   I got back:

ISFP - The Artists

The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of.

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

Doctrine

What place does doctrine and tradition take in today's church?   There is an interesting post on one of the blogs I follow (to the left) HERE.   In it, the author suggests that it is a mistake to get too generic.  My views are certainly colored by the time I spent in the LCMS church (conservative Lutheran).  I have strong opinions regarding Sola Scriptura, the meaning behind The Lord's Supper and the importance of the creeds.  At the same time, my views in other areas has shifted (baptism, church high-days and worship style to name a couple).

For the past 12 years, I have attended churches that downplay their denominational affiliations so I honestly don't know much about their doctrine.  I have found myself evaluating them solely on their theology, reliance on scripture and the centrality of Jesus.

At any rate, regardless of where you might fall in the spectrum, the article was good food for thought.

blessings on your day

Brrrrrr

It was 32 degrees out this morning and my car was covered with ice.   As I left Carmichael, it actually warmed up a few degrees - which wasn't a good thing.  As soon as the temperature rose, the fog settled it.  By the time I got to work, it was VERY thick.   It is definitely winter here - the days are shorter, the trees are barren and the fog is settling into the valley.

It can be a dreary and depressing time of the year for many.  It is easy to let the gloom, damp and chill seep into your soul.   As I listen to the Psalms of David this morning, I am struck by how often he started out gloomy and depressed but ended on a high note.  The is power in our memories and it is important to choose which ones to dwell upon.   David always chose to dwell on memories of blessings and victory.  By doing that, he avoided the trap of depression and despair.

What memories are you choosing to dwell on today?

Lighten Up

Somebody else posted this, but I could relate to almost all of these...thought you all might get a kick out of it too, enjoy!

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

5. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

6. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

7. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

8. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

9. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

10. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

11. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

12. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

13. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

14. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

15. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

16. Was learning cursive really necessary?

17. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

20. My friend's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

24. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

25. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

26. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

27. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

28. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

29. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

30. Bad decisions make good stories

31. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

32. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

33. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

34. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

35. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

36. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

37. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

38. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

39. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

41. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

42. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

43. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

48. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

49. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

50. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

51. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

52. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my last dollar everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

53. It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

54. I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

55. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay

What?!? Oh...wait....

The data is in and we have confirmed it.   It is people who are responsible for the melting of Antarctica.  The really annoying part is that it is "good" (read: green) people that did it.  It seems that the hole in the ozone layer was actually cooling the ice.  By banning CFC's and fixing the hole, we warmed up the ice.   Go figure  :o)

The full article HERE

It Isn't That Simple

A recent article that appeared in Wired magazine (link HERE) talking about the complexity of "life."   To the apparent surprise of the author (and the academic community), it turns out that even the simplest organism is fiendishly complex and STILL beyond our comprehension.  There are complexities piled on top of other complexities creating a process (read: life) that is only dimly grasped and poorly understood.  And this is after years of studying what is characterized as one of the "simplest" of bacterium.

Yeah and all of that was created by random chance without any intelligent design - riiiiiiiiigggghhhhhhtttt

Focus

I am working on various areas in my life all the time.  My attention today is on "focus."  I am finding that my focus has a huge impact on my day.  If my focus is constant and "healthy" my day goes well and I end feeling that I have accomplished something.  If my focus is hazy, aimless and random, I end the day feeling disorganized and anxious.  I am developing a number of methods to help with this issue including changing what is in my iTunes library, setting up specific times to pray and appending to my reading list.  I am learning that maintaining a specific focus takes a lot more work than I had anticipated.

Focusing on the things that are "fun" has always been easy.  Letting my focus drift aimlessly has always been easy.  Life isn't about "easy" and drifting is dangerous.  Moving with purpose - having direction and a plan are crucial to success.  If you don't know where you are going how can you know if you have arrived?   I have spent a great deal of my life doing just that.  It really is no surprise that I ended up on the shoals.

blessings on your day