In 3 or so years since I last posted there have been many changes. I have new grand-kids, a new job, new struggles - that look like the old struggles, new friends, lost friends, and lots of tears.
We have 10 grandchildren we consider ours. Some are step kids, some are not even related but they are all ours. The delight of grandchildren exceeds all other familial relationships. The newest one, Adaline Rose has Downs Syndrome which makes her the most precious of all. She will be a light to this family.
My company, LexisNexis decided that the office in Sacramento was not cost efficient so they moved all the job functions to Raleigh NC (but very few of the people). That happened on 12/12/13 and rocked my world. It is only recently that I really started to understand what exactly this meant to me. The shattered dreams, last validation, and the tail spin I went into are just now starting to become clear - as well as the impact on my life. I landed at a company in Roseville where I am struggling to find my place.
The struggles are new but yet they are the same. My personal life went into a tail spin that is reminiscent of 5 years ago. My marriage is, once again, in dire jeopardy. My youngest continues to make choices that make me despair, I have lost what little relationship I had with my oldest and my daughter H let me know that she doesn't feel I am the right person to walk her down the aisle at her wedding next April.
Too much of what is negative in my life is the result of my own choices. As I keep peeling back the layers, I have hope that I am finally reaching down to the issues that are at the foundation of my brokenness.
I know that there is no one let out there reading so I may just set this to private and use it for a journal - or maybe I won't.
blessings on your day
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