Why Bad Things Happen (long)

There are several ways that "bad things" can happen to anyone, even Christians. First, we can sin and get caught by the consequences of our actions; if we rob a bank, we will get put in jail. Second, we can get caught in the consequences of someone ELSE'S action; I will provide some examples from my own life. And third, God may allow bad things to happen so that we can learn and grow (sometimes we never do understand the "why"). The first one is obvious to most people. The problem arises with numbers two and three. With your permission, I will address these with examples from my life.

Example 1: I was raised as a Christian in a Christian home. I was saved early and rededicated my life to Jesus as a teenager. I married at age 23 and settled down to live my life. For a variety of reasons, I chose to turn my back on God and my family and, after 17 years of marriage and 5 children, I divorced my wife. My wife was not a bad person. In fact, she was a very strong Christian who honestly loved me. Through no fault of her own and through no plan of God, she was left crushed, devastated and a single mom. Because she was married to me, she was caught up in the consequences of my actions. The pain and struggles she went through as a result of my choice were not sent from God as a test nor were they as a result of her sin. Plain and simple, bad stuff happened to her simply because she was closely tied to me.

Example 2: My MIL (Mother-In-Law) from my current marriage was bitten by a mosquito while vacationing at the shore on the east coast. This was 14 years ago. As a result of that bite, she contracted a very rare, fatal disease (Amyloidosis) that is also extremely painful. LD was a devout Christian and truly was a Godly woman. For the first 6 years (prior to me meeting her), she went to prayer meetings, healing services, doctors, hospitals.... Whole churches prayed for her, laid hands on her, claimed healing for her. God said "no." No one could understand why God would allow her to suffer like He did. She was in excruciating pain constantly. I won't even describe what the disease did to her body, but it left her virtually an invalid. Throughout the course of this disease, she often wept with despair, cried out to God, got angry sometimes; but never once gave up her faith. She never turned her back on God. She remained true to her calling.

This is where I entered the picture and our lives intertwined. My marriage in shambles, my life a wreck and my faith completely dead - I met her daughter. I will skip the details, but suffice it to say, I went to Pennsylvania, packed up her daughter (an only child) along with LD's grandchildren and moved them to California. Again, she responded with love and grace. After having met me once, she threw a birthday party for me the day before we left for CA.

Because of her illness, she often couldn't sleep. E and her mom had a rocky relationship, so when mom called (often at 8:30 or 9 p.m. our time), E would talk for 3 minutes and hand the phone to me. Mom and I talked for hours at a time. Over a period of months, that Godly woman slowly drew me back to God. She never condemned me or judged me for my divorce, stealing her daughter, violating God's law or anything else that happened. I was eventually even arrested for domestic violence and mom was the first one to offer forgiveness and encouragement. As a direct result of her presence in my life, my relationship with God was restored. If it hadn't been, my marriage to E wouldn't have lasted 2 years. Today we have been married over 8 years and have been blessed with a little boy, NO.

My relationship with God has been a struggle since then, mostly due to my own poor choices; but if LD hadn't entered my life, I would never have made it this far. Six years ago, God answered her prayers and healed her. I miss her more than I can describe, but I know that she is in a better place now and I will see her again one day. If God had taken her home earlier or if He had healed her of her disease, we never would have had all those late night conversations on the phone. She changed my life - and all because God allowed her to be stricken with a painful, fatal disease.

I am not saying that we always know why God allows things to happen. There are many times that we have no answers at all. The one thing I know for sure is that His promises are true and He is faithful to keep them. God has promised that He would never allow more in our lives than we can handle and that "all things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose." The Bible never promises an easy, pain free life. It does promise that if we choose to follow Him, it will work out OK in the end.