Pondering

Of course as a hard-core Pinkie and the Brain aficionado, the title of this post immediately evoked the image I added.  However, this post is intended to be a tad more serious then perhaps the image suggests.

Over the last year we have dealt with a lot of "circumstances" in our lives.   I know that these experiences has had a profound impact on who we are.  This is one of those posts where I will meander through my memories and do what I can to chronicle things without making any real effort to explain, analyze or bring closure.  I hope that you, the casual reader, will indulge me for a bit....

My oldest daughter got married last year in October.  While she wasn't the first wedding among our kids, it was the first time I walked down the aisle with one of them.   It was a stark reminder to me that the my relationship with my children has changed over the years.  I went from a dad to a "distant dad" to the father of the bride to grandpa.  The marriage of my daughter Sarah this month (to an amazing young man named Dale) underscored that this is the next season in fatherhood.  My family is growing and becoming more complex. I am watching my children move on and develop their own families.  This is a bittersweet experience, to be sure.  [The specter of my own mortality first appeared when I was diagnosed with cancer for my 48th birthday]

Last fall I finally confronted my addiction and struggled to deal with the impact to my marriage and my relationships.  I have spent time in Celebrate Recovery and am currently part of a very strong accountability group.  After 35 years on the roller-coaster, it is time to get out of the park.

This spring we decided to sell our house and move.   This was not a trivial decision as that house was the one that was our first real home.  Noah was born there, we worked through most of the blended family issues and melded 10 dysfunctional human beings into a relationship that will last.  We developed friendships in that house that have blessed us beyond belief.  We spent immeasurable hours (days, weeks, months...) modifying, customizing, decorating and landscaping.  Now we get to start over - start over with neighbors, start over with decorating and start over with landscaping.

It is easy to get lost in all of the "stuff" and lose sight of our purpose.  It is easy to get distracted and forget who is in charge.  It is easy to get discouraged and forget that this is just "schooling" to prepare us for eternity.  It is easy to lose sight of the blessings that have been in all of the circumstances of the last year.

Today is a day of reflections and gratitude.  Blessings on your day.