2009 was a very ugly year for me. I found myself compromised morally far too often. Many of my choices where horribly bad and some almost destroyed me. Yet by the grace of God I survived. His grace and mercy are something that I have struggled with for many years - often feeling woefully undeserving and inadequate. Of course when it comes down to it, NONE of us deserve grace. Fortunately grace isn't earned but is freely given.
Addicts tend to have a rather biased and skewed view of themselves. We learn to put ourselves down. We learn that the gifts of God that are available to every other sinner are withheld from us (or is it that we reject them?). We learn to avoid intimacy, to hide behind walls and to try to hide from God. Eventually He decides the time has come and begins the process of tearing down the walls - a process that is always painful but oh so necessary.
Last year was a year of ugliness and tearing down. This year is a year of rebirth and renewal.
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