Fear Not

Fear is a powerful motivator - it is also the antithesis of Love. Fear has controlled much of my life. I suspect that I am not alone in this, in fact I see it far too often in my children. What is it about this world that makes us so fearful? Why do we allow fear to make our decisions for us?

I don't have the answers to those questions; all I have is who I am. My fears typically revolve around production, performance and perfection. Yep, you got it - I have a huge fear of failure. Over the years this has manifested in many areas of my life. When I was younger I was terrified of failing as an employee. It drove me to succeed at any cost. The respect of my boss and coworkers was my ultimate goal.

As I got older and more secure in my job, my fear shifted to more personal areas. Failing as a father began to consume me. For those of you that know my personal history, especially regarding my divorce, this is probably understandable. My fear drove some of my decisions but more importantly, caused me to respond "badly" whenever I felt that my position as dad was threatened.

As I get older and confront my fears, I find that they are rarely as bad as my imagination makes them out to be. One by one they fall by the wayside. Periodically one or more will make an attempt at a comeback - sometimes I react and sometimes I banish them. The only antidote to fear is the Word. By staying in the Word, reading every day, I can keep my fears at bay.

Sometimes fear is a good thing. We are told to fear God - which is appropriate. Sometimes our fears can encourage us to improve. I fear to fail as a husband; this is good as it pushes me to find ways to be better. It drives me to find ways to love my wife that match up with the way she needs to be loved. It forces me to get better.

I was recently challenged to ask my wife "have I loved you well today?" So far the answer has not been very positive. It is not that I have failed to love her; I just have not loved her the way that she needs me to. I know that I will improve. I will face my fear of failing her head on and rise to the challenge. Someday I know I will hear her say "yes, I truly feel well loved."

blessings on your day

Matthew 10:28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."