Are You Happy?

"Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults."
  - Thomas Szasz

 I found that quote very interesting when I read it the other day.   Everywhere I go, I hear people complain that they aren't really happy.  The harder you listen, the more you will hear this.  It comes from store clerks, shoppers, co-workers, neighbors, family and friends.  No one it seems, is happy any more.  As the years pass by, I have come to realize that what most people mean by "happy" is really being content.   They are not satisfied with where they are, how they live, what they do, what they have or who they know.   In short, we have become a society of the discontented.

A large part of that has to do with expectations - we feel we deserve to be happy/content.  And we have decided that it is things/people/places that will make the difference.  The truth is that being content has nothing to do with any of that.  Being content means that you have decided that you are "ok" with all of the above.

Yeah, I will admit that there are a lot of times when I don't make that choice - and at the same time I am (slowly) recognizing that it IS a choice.  I am where God has me and it is where I need to be to grow, mature and learn.  I can "choose" to grumble. complain and try to get what I have "decided" I need to be happy - or I can trust God, enjoy the moment and walk the road in front of me.

Expect to see this topic again  :o)

blessings on your day

Where did it go?

Talking about the weekend, by the way.  I ended up working a full day Saturday and more than that on Sunday.  Saturday I had planned for, Sunday - not so much.   The stuff I worked on Saturday night went badly and I spent 5-6 hours fixing it on Sunday (and again this morning).   I really can't complain though as it *IS* what they pay me to do.   Additionally, much of the stuff that was broken was my responsibility one way or another.

Worship was really good Sunday morning and we had a long lunch with Pastor Tim and his family after church. They are super nice people and we are looking forward to developing a long friendship with them.

Gotta Believe

As I went through my study this morning, one verse leaped off the page at me. "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."  This really sums up how I feel right now.  I wholeheartedly believe in God and surrender my life to Him.  At the same time I constantly walk by my OWN strength and take back all that I surrender.  Like the man with the demon possessed child, I acknowledge that only God has the power to heal me.  I also recognize that I lack the faith I need to accept that healing.

Lord I believe, help my unbelief

Running

I have been on a dead run all morning.  We had a software release last night which my boss handled.  I get to do the morning after cleanup.  Upgrading peripheral systems, resetting standby systems, diagnosing the "newest" weird problems.  I guess I shouldn't complain as this way it leaves my evenings free for the most part.  Soon I head out to attend Noah's parent-teacher conference.  I will finish the day working from home so that we can get an early start on dinner.  After dinner we are heading out to Folsom H.S. to see The Wizard of Oz.

Tomorrow I have to put in 12 hours or so on the 'puter.  Huge upgrade this weekend and it is my turn :o)  Sunday we relax and unwind....aahhhhhhhh

Surrender

Today my struggle is with surrender - ok I struggle with that MOST days, however, I am focused on it today.  Before you can really grow and make changes in your life, you first have to remove what was there.   It is the same as urban renewal.  Step 1 is to tear down the old building.  The funny thing about God is that he doesn't tear things down in our lives without permission.  That isn't to say that He doesn't push, prod and encourage us to begin the process.  To do the actual work, however, we must surrender to Him, let Him into our lives (all the way, yes thank you) and let Him start the process of tearing down and ripping out the old, broken structures.

The process of surrendering to God is never a one-time deal (at least not for anyone *I* know).  I am in a constant cycle of surrendering and taking back.  I am also learning that as you go along this path, it DOES get easier.  I find myself letting go of things I have held tightly for all of my life.  God has stripped me of my defenses, my ego and torn down the walls I built to keep people and Him out.  The freedom this brings is amazing!

Begin the process of surrendering today, you will be better for it.   Blessings on your day

Dialogue

Communication continues to be a focus with me.  For much (most) of my life, I have hidden part of me deep inside which means any communication has either been shallow or incomplete.   As I learn to let down those final barricades and expose my inner self to the light I find myself almost over-communicating.  That is a good thing.

The downside is that increasingly I have little tolerance for people that can't (won't) communicate.   I am an information junkie and I will tell anyone who asks pretty much anything.  I will volunteer info if I think you might have the slightest interest in it and I work hard to keep those close to me apprised of the details of my life.  Personally, I think that it ends up being a respect and boundaries issue.  If people are relying on information from you to make decisions, it is your responsibility to make sure that they have the information they need - and in a timely manner.   Yup, stuff happens and sometimes it doesn't work that way.  However, that should be the exception, not the rule.

My $0.02

VOTD

Psalm 1:1-2 (New Living Translation)

 ¹ Oh, the joys of those who do not
      follow the advice of the wicked,
      or stand around with sinners,
      or join in with mockers.
 ² But they delight in the law of the Lord,
      meditating on it day and night.

Who Am I?

Taking a personal inventory is almost like defining who you are.  In a way, it is the DNA of your soul.

Physical:

• My weight is up again, I really want to lose at least 10 pounds
• Allergies are really bad right now which leaves me tired a lot
• The cancer is in remission (gone entirely???)
• My diet is poor, I really need to start watching my sugar intake
• I have stopped going to the gym (too far to drive right now), are there alternatives?
  

Emotional:

• I am content with where I am right now
• Passionate about my recovery efforts
• Completely in love with my wife
• Eager to get reconnected to God
• I miss my children
• I love the support I am getting from my family
• Feeling much more connected as I reach out to the men in my groups

Spiritual:

• Healing, renewal
• Connecting with God
• Breaking down the walls I built
• Learning to pray once more
• Learning to intercede for others

For now that is where I stand.    I feel strongly that this inventory is sufficient only for today.  I see that is lacks detail in many areas and I know that this will come with time and with practice.

until then, blessings to you

Taking Inventory

At one of my groups last week, the speaker challenged us to take a personal inventory.   The inventory would include spiritual, emotional and physical components.  When he said it my reaction was "this is easy, no problem."   Now, 6 days later I still don't have my inventory.  It turns out to be a lot less trivial than I first thought.  The first question I face is what does taking a personal inventory even mean?   Am I counting my toes, taking my emotional temperature, or what?  I think I am finally getting a handle on what I want to list on my inventory.  I will share that with you in a later post.

blessings on your day

Staying Healthy

This means different things to different people.  For me it means I have address all three major aspects of who I em - physical, emotional and spiritual.   As I grow older and (hopefully) wiser I am coming to the realization that unless you address all three, your health will suffer in all three.   Learning balance is a struggle.  For most of my life I have focused on 1 or 2 of the areas but rarely have I put effort into all of them at once.   It seems that when I was working out and dieting I ignored the spiritual side almost completely.  When I focused on the emotional, the spiritual stuff went by the wayside.

Today I am focusing on emotional and spiritual and I find the physical slipping away once again.  Why is it that it is so hard to find a balanced approach to life?  No I don't have the answer to that one (I have few answers indeed) but I would certainly be interested in finding one.  In the mean time I will commit to finding that balance.

blessings on your day

Word of the Year

Oxford (the OED people) has declared "unfriend" as the word of the year.   At first glance this seems to acknowledge the impact of social networks (particularly FaceBook) on our culture.  After a little more consideration it also seems to be an indictment.   Are we so shallow and superficial that we need a special word to state the process of removing friends from our circle?   Is it that they were never actually friends in the first place or is it that we are truly that quick to ban people from our lives at the first hint of failed expectations?

Personally, I have made a decision to remove myself from that world entirely.  Not so much because I disagree with the philosophy but simply because it has been an (almost obsessive) distraction to me in my life.  I initially joined FB to "hang" with my neighbors but it quickly sucked me in with online gaming which lead to the arms race of adding fellow gamers.  At one point I had almost 2,500 people in my "friend list."   Of course the vast majority were just names/numbers but they were still there.  It flooded my email and my text messaging.  It consumed countless hours and became the center and focus of my day.   Frankly, I was very good at ti but the cost was far too great to allow it to continue.

I am a recovering FB user, currently with almost a month of "sobriety" under my belt.  I would have to say that most days I don't miss it at all.  Let me know if you want to kick the habit - there is an app for that...

blessings on your day

Because We Care

I saw that slogan this morning on a delivery truck.  The interesting part is that the truck was delivering caskets.  I guess at some level I understand the desire of the living to honor those who pass, but spending massive amounts of money on something that holds a body and is buried in the ground (or put on a shelf in a mausoleum) seems a little silly to me.  Of course I am also a huge fan of cremation and so don't see a lot of value in burying people anyway.

I have known people that have had to borrow money to buy the plot and the casket.  I have gone to eulogies, memorial services and funerals.  The ones that I remember best tend to be those that are actual celebrations.  There is such a huge difference between the service for a strong believer and the service for a non-believer.  The believer knew what waited on the other side and the family (mostly) knows where they are.  For us, it is a graduation ceremony.  We have finished the program, completed the course and now get to enjoy the rewards of a life lived for God.

Don't bury me, don't spend money on a casket or a plot in a cemetery.  Cremate me and scatter my ashes in the surf off the NorCal coast.  Then sit down, have some wine and remember my life.

My $0.02

Let Me In

Something I have struggled with all my life, is letting people actually see the real me and get inside my walls.  At various times and with various people, I have come close but I have always reserved that inner core just for me.  I find that I can be transparent and authentic - to a point.  There have always been those parts of who I am that I have been afraid to open up.  There have always been parts of me that I felt were too ugly to ever see the light of day.

Lately, God has shown me (forcibly) that it simply isn't true.  He has stripped away all my walls and all my protections.   I have been left naked and bleeding for all to see.  The really interesting thing is that I haven't died as a result.  Instead, I have found people reaching out to connect with me BECAUSE of the ugliness that was exposed.

Amazing things happen when you are willing to take risks.

blessings on your day

Have You Noticed?

I have seen, over the years, that God rarely does things the way you expect (or even WHAT you expect).   The last few days have been a steady stream of surprises - some good, some ....not so much.   It has served to remind me that He is a consummate planner and that He always has more on the table for me than I consider reasonable.   It would be like registering for classes only to discover that "someone" added a math class and two history lectures to your load without asking you.

The only good thing about this is that I trust that God won't send me more than I can handle (no matter what my opinion may be).  The surgeon opens you up to perform radical surgery on you.  While He is in there, He sometimes takes the opportunity to work on bits that you didn't expect.  No worries, He is the master....

blessings on your day and on your weekend

Fall is in the air

It is a lovely fall day here in NorCal.   The leaves are turning brown and falling, there was a definite chill in the air this morning and flocks of geese are honking at us on their way to warmer climes.  Of course for US, a chill means under 40 and brown is pretty much as good as it gets.

It has been a quiet day at work which is a good thing.  I heard from a VERY old friend (well he isn't old, but we were friends a long time ago) which was very neat.  He and his wife are heading to SLC to start up a new church.   Other than that little tidbit, I don't really have a lot to say.  I am sure that will change soon, however  :o)

blessings on your day