Being Dependent

At bible study this morning, one of the men mentioned a desire to do better at leaning on, trusting and depending on God.  The longer I thought about this, the more it set me back.  What a powerful and dangerous (from the world's point of view) prayer to pray.  In order to trust God more, we need to have our foundations shaken, our comfort zone erased and our needs left to Him to meet.

To do this means to cast your fate completely on Him.  He will help you learn to trust Him for money, shelter, employment, health and .. well everything.  How many of us trust in our job to put food on the table, trust in our abilities to get/keep that job and trust in our mind and education to acquire those abilities?   How many of us think it is our driving skill that gets us to work unscathed?  How many of us trust in the doctors to keep us healthy?  The truth is that if we are His, He provides it all.  God has promised to be our provider, our strength and our protection.  How many of us are willing to put those promises to the test?

I know that I have not been and frankly, I am not sure I am ready to pray that prayer.  We have learned some of those lessons in the past - finances, jobs, health have all been ripped out of our hands.  We have been forced to turn to God to provide in all those areas.  Each time He has been faithful and I know that God's faithfulness is eternal.

How and where is your trust today?

Sounds Good

I hooked up our new receiver this week.  We have been without a stereo since August when we had the flood.  When I disassembled the systems, I threw out the old Sony which was fried anyway.  We finally ordered a new Onkyo 607 and set it up Wednesday.  Got all the speakers connected and did a rough balance of the system.  I think I will rebalance the speakers again using a slightly different setup this weekend as the left-surround speaker is too strong for the recliner.

Good Advice

The VOTD was "Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others." - Proverbs 12:15, NLT.   This is always timely and relevant.  I have gotten advice from some VERY unlikely sources over the years.  The key for the Christian is to 1) keep your ears open and 2) run all advice through the filter of the Word.  When in doubt check with another (impartial) Christian whom you have learned is wise.  I have gotten excellent and timely advice from my wife, parents, friends and even my children.  To exclude anyone is a mistake and one I strongly urge you to avoid.

Remember the mistake of Balaam ;)

Sins of the Father

Last night I met with one of my recovery groups.  During the study and discussion, we started talking about our children and which ones also had addiction issues.  I was amazed and dismayed to see how many of the men had adult children who shared their addiction.  Again and again we hear the stories about children whose lives are destroyed by the sins of their parents.  Our children inherit the bad along with the good - in fact, they seem to acquire the "bad" much more readily than the good.   This is true even when the bad stuff is carefully, meticulously hidden from them.

Telling them what is right simply doesn't work.  If we don't model it (and that rigidly), they aren't going to pick up the good parts.  We can't teach one thing and live another - no matter HOW careful and sincere we appear to be.  What is hidden in the darkness will always be revealed in the light.

What legacy are you leaving YOUR children?

Surviving

The survival tip yesterday was how to escape from a mountain lion.  Apparently they are scared by large coats.  Not sure what to do or how to escape if you are not wearing one.  I am guessing funny hats and off-color jokes don't have the same effect.


I wonder if this issue is addressed in the official postal worker's guide?  I wonder of Brandi would know.....

Drifting

It is soooooooo easy to start drifting.    Living for Jesus and having Him as your focus is hard, hard work.   I liken it to paddling a canoe upstream.   It is as easy as breathing to lose focus and to start drifting back downstream.   We can get trapped in eddies, backwaters, eaten by crocodiles or overwhelmed by rapids.

I have lost count of the number of times I have done this.  I do, however, carry the scars on my heart and in my life.  So many times I have lost focus, drifted downstream and ended half-drowned, clinging to the rocks.  Stay the course, finish the race if you want the prize. Retirement isn't in the bible...

blessings on your day

Float Like a Butterfly

I was talking to a fellow addict this morning and the topic turned to "what works" as far as sobriety.  He mentioned that he has run into addicts that seem to assume he will fail (because he isn't doing what they would do).   I understand that as I have run into some of that myself.   One thing I am learning is that it takes a long time to develop a "program" to stay healthy and sober - the things that work today may not necessarily work tomorrow.

Developing new patterns in our lives is HARD.  The enemy is constantly on the prowl looking for ways to trip us up.  As we continue the journey of sobriety, we need to be aware of this and be continually looking for more ways to grow, get healthy and stay sober.   For me, the first sign of trouble is the tendency to withdraw and to hide.  When I see this (or have it brought to my attention) it acts as an alarm bell.  It means it is time to step up the pace, dig deeper and reach out to others.

Thanks for listening and for walking along side me as I share my recovery.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to my brother Doug.    He turns (mumble, mumble, mumble) years old today!  Lately he has developed what was a hobby into a thriving business and a passion.   If you get the chance, check out his photography website.


Congratulations :)

I Love You, Man

The commercials that ran for a time with that tag were successful in that they added that line to American culture.  Whether they actually sold any product I don't know (don't even remember exactly what product they were selling).   The sentiment, however, is one that is often missing form our society.

I was reading this morning in my son-in-law's blog discussing a passage from 1 Timothy where Paul extols the virtues of caring for others.  Loving people is what Jesus was about.  When He was asked which of the commandments was the greatest, He told us to love God and to love others.  If we do those 2 things, everything else follows naturally.  Loving people isn't always easy, often it requires us to make sacrifices and it almost always requires us to take risks.  Yet in the final analysis, this is what it means to be a follow of Jesus.  We have decide whether to live in isolation and live for ourselves or to truly do what our God requires of us.

blessings on your day

Sorrow

Got some very sad news today, I will wait a few days before sharing it as it isn't my story to tell.  I will, however, take the time to share some of MY story.  The short version is "God Is In Control" and this is true for ALL His children whether they like (know) it or not.  There was a point in my life that I learned this lesson VERY well.

I hid my addiction for many, many years and did so well enough that virtually no one really had any awareness of it.  I went so far as to even go to groups/studies that dealt with SA and hid it there.  Finally, in October of last year, God said "enough!"  In the space of 3 weeks (more or less), He destroyed my walls and laid me bare to the world.  The pain was extreme and there were times I was convinced I would not survive.  As time has passed, I have seen how perfect His timing was.  Today I am on the road to recovery and it would not have happened if I was in charge of the timing.  I have a long, long way to go.  Most days are filled with struggles of varying intensity and there are days I drift back into the images and memories that filled my mind for so many years.

However I have maintained "sobriety" (77 days and counting) in the area that matters the most and am working on the rest.  And yes, I will talk about it with anyone who shows even a glimmer of interest.

blessings on your day

What's The Plan?

It is a truism that our plans are often not God's plans (in my case almost never).  I do trust however, that the plans He has are for my benefit and prosperity.  The problem that I (and most people) have is that I want the benefit and prosperity NOW!  God always takes the eternal view of things while we take the temporal (and immediate) view.   I am going to resist the urge to preach against the "name it and claim it" crowd for now even though they are, by far, the worst offending Christian group in this regard.

A lot of my life over the past 11-12 years has been a process of growing, learning and changing.  God's hand on my life can't be denied even in the midst of the wrenching pain it brings.   The problem with growth and prosperity (in the eternal prospective) is that there is a lot that needs to be torn down, dug up and remodeled in my (our) life.   Watching the work God is doing in my life currently takes a lot of courage.  There are times when focusing on the goal is all that keeps me from throwing in the towel.

"The Lord will work out his plans for my life -- for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me."  Psalm 138:8, NLT

Iceberg Ho!

Today's survival tip was what to do if yo are stranded on an iceberg.  Ok, first off, I am trying to imagine a situation where I would be trapped on an iceberg and NOT give in to despair.   Secondly, I can't imagine killing seabirds by flinging chunks of ice at them, and finally I am pretty sure a seal would not hold still for me to club it to death with my ski pole just so I could start a fire using seal blubber and use a wet skin for a smoke signal.

I dunno, maybe I just lack imagination...

Advance or Retreat?

It has been an interesting week for me.   The last week or so I have been bombarded by temptation.  It has hit in virtually every area of my life (work frustrations, addiction-related, dealing with finances, interacting with Noah, etc) and has left me feeling unstable and off balance.   Last night at my men's group, I was whining about it and the leader pointed out that I had officially moved back into the house about 2 weeks ago and did I see any possible correlation?

Doh!  Yeah, the enemy has every reason to want me to fail and no reason to see me grow, heal and mature.  I probably could have seen this coming but I didn't.  The result is that I have struggled to keep my feet under me and moving instead of reaching out for prayer, encouragement and support.  The enemy succeeded in isolating me - at least for a time.  Now that I understand what is happening, I am taking steps to counter it.

Sometimes I forget that I am in a spiritual battle and think that it is all about my personal struggles.  I drifted away from the herd and the lion almost picked me off.  Fortunately I was only scratched up a bit.

Armour up, the battle is on!

Confusion Rocks!

It has been an interesting day at work.  We are in the final stages of completing a project - at least on paper.  The truth is that we have yet (in 6 weeks of trying) to have a successful dry run.  The work I did Saturday was negated because the people driving the current round of testing didn't understand the dependencies.  The result was stuff done out of order and a corrupted environment.  Oh goody, I get to reset, restart and restore.  I can hardly wait for Friday morning to see what messes I have to clean up from the Thursday night deployment.

The State Shifted

I think the Sacramento valley shifted into the Pacific North-West this weekend.   The rain started Sunday and except for a few brief breaks, seems determined to last for several weeks.  I am actually not complaining though, we desperately needed the rain.  The downside to all the rain is that it really snarls my commute - took my almost 30 minutes longer to get to the office this morning.

True to form, I stayed offline for the most part this weekend and spent time with my family.   Sunday after church we went shopping for lamps and found 2 we really like as well as a third that is a maybe.  There is a possibility that the women's bible study will be hosted at our house in February.  Yesterday afternoon, Noah and I built a Lego construct to supplement his mission report.   After dinner we watched the movie "My Sister's Keeper."   It was a really good flick but not exactly uplifting.

This week I am starting to fill out my inventory worksheets.   I will keep you updated on my progress.

blessings on your (wet & rainy) day