Oy

What a week it has been.  Work has been crazy busy (hence my scarcity).   Tonight I am hoping we can relax and unwind a bit before we start into the weekend.  I have started on my lists for our cruise so I already know that between a very aggressive work schedule and the running we need to do, that next week will be even crazier than this one.  I have tons of stuff I need to get done tomorrow (plus it is my turn to work Saturday night) so there won't be much rest until Sunday after church.

Just as a footnote, the book Sacred Marriage has been making our brains hurt so even our evenings are filled :)

blessings on your weekend

VOTD

"Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does."

1 Chronicles 16:24, NLT

When Does It Start?

I was reading Genesis this morning and something struck me regarding the story of The Fall.  The capacity for sin (disobedience) was present in Man from the very beginning.  It is a part of our nature to question authority, consider temptations and listen to the whispers of the enemy.  Our reaction to this revelation is critical.  We have a choice - we can fall into despair and hopelessness as we are consumed by our failings or we can be filled with awe and wonder at the depth and complexity of God's plan of salvation.

How many of us would willing create something knowing it contained a critical flaw and knowing that we would eventually have to make the ultimate sacrifice to heal that flaw?  Yet this is exactly what God did.   I am humbled by the extent of His love for me - knowing who I am (and was to be), God chose to make the ultimate sacrifice anyway.  When Adam & Eve fell into sin, God already had a plan for their redemption that explicitly included redeeming ME.

blessings on your day

Happy Birthday B!

May your day be the best  :o)

I Want It Now!

What happens when you don't give a small child what they desperately desire?   Anyone who has ever spent time with a small child can answer that question easily.  Less easy to answer is what happens when you don't give an ADULT what they desire?

We are the microwave generation and are kids are worse.   We have come to expect - and demand - instant gratification.   Why spend 4 days reading a book when you can watch it on the TV in 2 hours?   Why drive to the video store when you can download movies directly to your television in 3 minutes?    Don't deal with pain - medicate.  If you are having issues with your parents, text 20-30 of your closest friends.  You can get advice and answers within seconds.   Why work on your marriage when there are so many other people that will meet your needs (at least for an hour or so) online, at the bar or even next door?

Jesse James & Tiger Woods are only the most recent (and well publicized) examples of the hedonistic, instant everything, self-centered world we live in.  Addiction, greed, infidelity are rampant and endemic to our society.   Yet poll after poll declares that our nation believes in God, thinks it is important to have a personal relationship with Jesus, prays and attends church occasionally. 

The only possible conclusion is that very few indeed of the people in this country actually live their lives based on what they say they believe.  What do YOU believe?   Does your life reflect it?

blessings on your day

Veggies

My vegetable garden  :)

Contact Me

Actually, my eyes are what got new contact info  :o)   As our cruise is coming up, I went ahead and took the plunge and got contacts.  Since my allergies are too bad to wear them all the time, I got daily lenses.   The idea behind this is that I can wear contacts when I go snorkeling and actually SEE the fish that swim below me.   Because my eyes are so bad, I got one lenses for distance and one lens for close-up viewing (reading).   So far it seems to work pretty well although my vision isn't quite as good as when I am wearing my glasses.  On the plus side, my wife thinks I look "hot" with them in.

A Great Weekend

The weekend went very well for us.   Emma mowed the yard Friday so I wouldn't have to (yay!) Saturday morning bright and early we had a ball game.  We got clobbered - it seems our team can't play much before 11 unfortunately.   I think next time we need to bring energy drinks for the kidlets.   We ran errands the rest of the morning (including the grocery store).   I finished up the last of the drop system repairs and got a couple of chickens on the grill by 3.   We had Clint and his family over for dinner.  They have 4 six year olds (really neat story) so Noah had playmates.

Sunday before church I started a pot of spaghetti sauce.  After service we sat on the patio and played cards until it was time to head over to the Landons for our small group potluck.   This morning I had my semi-annual gum mangling.   The dentists was running late so it was 8:45 before I got out.  Of course any other day, traffic at 9 is perfectly fine.  Today it was worse than it normally is at the peak drive time.  Go figure.   Of course I also have 16 hours of work I need to finish before I go home today

VOTD

"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love."

Galatians 5:13, NLT

Hiatus

I am taking a brief break from blogging - at least "in depth" posts.   I need a few days to ponder some changes in how I live my life.

It is shaping up to be a really nice weekend here in NorCal.  The temperatures should be in the mid 70's through Sunday.   I will be able to finish the last task left in preparing my yard for spring/summer.   Noah has a game at 9 am Saturday morning....sigh.   He needs to be there by 8:15 so I guess no sleeping in.  Tonight Emma and I are going to spend some time out of the house.  I need to run over to the optometrists and then we are planning to do sushi for dinner.   I will try to remember to take a picture of the garden.  Some of the tomato plants are already well over a foot tall and the first blooms are showing up.

I hope you all have a great weekend and I will talk to you on Monday

It Is All In The Timing

I was reading a blog entry recently where the author was bemoaning the timing of an incident - that things they would have made a different choice if things had happened in a different order.  I had to smile - oh not that I was entertained by the post but rather because I have said the same thing and had similar conversations with many Christians.  One thing I have learned is that when these "timing mishaps" occur, it is always a result of Divine Intervention.   God's timing is always perfect - for His plans.   All too often it throws a wrench into our plans in the process and that is God's purpose and plan in arranging it that way. 

I remember when things fell apart in my life last fall.   After the dust settled a bit and I started seeing and thinking clearly I realized that the timing, while pretty horrific for me, was perfect for putting things in (proper) motion.  As painful as it was, things had to be lined up and I had to be at the right place for the process to generate the outcome that God wanted.   The result for me is that now, rather than grumbling about the timing of God's plans, I strive to see the reasons and the purpose and do what (little) I can to facilitate the growth and learning that God has in store for me.   Embracing God's plans is - in the long run - far more beneficial than fighting, kicking and screaming (which I have done an awful lot of the time).

blessings on your day

More Rain

It was a cool and rainy day here in NorCal.   The rain was nice as I still have one flower bed that needs the drip lines fixed.  It isn't helping my vegetable garden, however.   My tomatoes and peppers like the hot, sunny days.  Emma made 2 quiches last night - a crab/feta one and a sausage and pepper one. They were yummy, Noah took the leftover sausage quiche to the sitter's for breakfast this morning.

With the rain, all the games were canceled today.  I guess we will have to play a make-up game against the Giants at the end of the season.  The rain also snarled the commute this morning.  It took 1:15 to get to work (double what it usually takes). Of course today was also the day that I left my coffee mug sitting on the counter in the kitchen so I wasn't too alert this morning.

Gonna be heading home in a little bit, so I hope you all have a nice evening.

Seek Obscurity

The number of ways in which the bible is at odds with society would take weeks to list - so I will focus on only one of those ways today.  One of the top priorities of Hollywood and Washington has always been notoriety.  In the absence of good publicity, they will often settle for bad just to get their names in the media.  And let's face it, by snatching up the tabloids and staying glued to the entertainment channel, we foster, encourage and subsidize this media frenzy.  The competition to make the opening story on E! or be first to interview on the red carpet has transformed into an obsession and, quite possible, an addiction.

God suggests that we go the opposite direction.  We are not to let people know when we fast, when we pray, or when we give to charity.   We should not seek notoriety, acclaim or popularity.  You see, when we seek those things we are effectively saying that the opinions of our fellow man are the top priority in our lives.  We are stating for all to see that what others think of us is where we get our validation and our gratification.  External validation is a dangerous and slippery thing.  When we rely on other people to determine our value and worth we set ourselves up for failure, pain and humiliation. 

Yet this is exactly what society tells us to do.  We are warned that we are constantly judged on our hair, our deodorant, our mouthwash, our cologne, our shoes & clothes, the car we drive, the house we live in and what kind of toys we buy.

When we learn to resist this pressure and start looking inward and upward for our validation, we grow and mature in ways that are not possible when we are consumed by appearances.  Mansions and the finest clothing ever seen is being prepared for us.  We are heirs of the ruler of the universe and children of the King.  We are envied by angels and can command the minions of the enemy.   It is time that we start remembering this - and acting on it.

blessings on your day

Contentment

A quote from Walt Henrichsen’s daily devotional for from a few days back:

Contentment is the product of gratitude and anger is the product of discontentment. It is hard to be content with your lot in life and be ungrateful at the same time. Paul underlines the importance of contentment in his epistle to Timothy. He tells us that a life of contentment is profitable 

In so many ways, Contentment is the key to life. I know that I struggle with this on a daily basis. Contentment comes when we accept that God is good – all the time! When we accept in our heart that God has our best interest in His plans all the time and that whatever comes our way is what will benefit us the most we can achieve contentment.

We get caught up in expectations and comparisons. We believe what Madison Ave. and Hollywood tell us. We believe that this is all there is and when it doesn’t happen the way the media tells us it should, we become discontented. We look what others have and we want the same thing (or better). Of course all too often they are doing the exact same thing with us.

It is only when we give our lives over to God’s control that we can experience the type of contentment that Paul speaks of below. In the end, this is what will determine what type of person we become. We have all known people that become increasing cantankerous and bitter as they age. A lack of contentment will lead ultimately to bitterness.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." 1 Timothy 6:6-8

What Flavor Is It?

Nope, not talking about the latest Doritos mystery flavor - I am talking about pain.  As the years pass, I have come to recognize that pain comes in many flavors.  As a child pain was mostly about skinned knees, slammed fingers and blisters.   As a teenager, it seemed rejection was at the center of my pain.   Sometime in that period I learned to medicate and my experiences with pain transformed to brief encounters quickly numbed, pushed down or dismissed.

Now, as I learn to touch my pain without medication I have discovered additional flavors.  I have tasted so many different varieties lately that my blog would overflow if I tried to talk about all of them.  So instead, I will focus on just one flavor today.   I liken it to a gobstopper in that it is never overwhelming, you can break a tooth (or more) of you try to chew on it and you never seem to be able to finish it.

I recognize that a loss of intimacy is inevitable for an addict.  In fact it is difficult bordering on impossible to have a truly intimate relationship with one.  We always hold back part of ourselves, hide our pain, internalize our feelings and work hard to keep everyone on the outside of that last wall.  The divorce accelerated this quite a bit and the move to Clovis seemed to finish it off.   The lack of a solid, healthy relationship with my children will likely impact me in some way for the rest of my life.  It is ironic at times (and very painful at others), that I know more about what is going on in the lives of the neighbor's kids than I do about mine.  From time to time, I try to jump start things by being more attentive, making phone calls, sending emails/texts but gradually  the responses taper off and I eventually give up the current attempt. 

Yes *I* (not them) am mostly to blame as this is what I modeled to them for their formative years (and most of their lives).  That makes it no less painful if at least more understandable.  I pray for them regularly and they are never far from my thoughts.  I know they love me beyond a doubt - I also know that as a result of my choices I am not high on the priority list in their lives.  Someday God will heal this and I trust Him to continue the good work He began.  They carry my pride with them wherever they go as well as my love.

blessings on your day