Fear Not

Fear is a powerful motivator - it is also the antithesis of Love. Fear has controlled much of my life. I suspect that I am not alone in this, in fact I see it far too often in my children. What is it about this world that makes us so fearful? Why do we allow fear to make our decisions for us?

I don't have the answers to those questions; all I have is who I am. My fears typically revolve around production, performance and perfection. Yep, you got it - I have a huge fear of failure. Over the years this has manifested in many areas of my life. When I was younger I was terrified of failing as an employee. It drove me to succeed at any cost. The respect of my boss and coworkers was my ultimate goal.

As I got older and more secure in my job, my fear shifted to more personal areas. Failing as a father began to consume me. For those of you that know my personal history, especially regarding my divorce, this is probably understandable. My fear drove some of my decisions but more importantly, caused me to respond "badly" whenever I felt that my position as dad was threatened.

As I get older and confront my fears, I find that they are rarely as bad as my imagination makes them out to be. One by one they fall by the wayside. Periodically one or more will make an attempt at a comeback - sometimes I react and sometimes I banish them. The only antidote to fear is the Word. By staying in the Word, reading every day, I can keep my fears at bay.

Sometimes fear is a good thing. We are told to fear God - which is appropriate. Sometimes our fears can encourage us to improve. I fear to fail as a husband; this is good as it pushes me to find ways to be better. It drives me to find ways to love my wife that match up with the way she needs to be loved. It forces me to get better.

I was recently challenged to ask my wife "have I loved you well today?" So far the answer has not been very positive. It is not that I have failed to love her; I just have not loved her the way that she needs me to. I know that I will improve. I will face my fear of failing her head on and rise to the challenge. Someday I know I will hear her say "yes, I truly feel well loved."

blessings on your day

Matthew 10:28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

Early Start?

We had a bit of fog this morning :) Understandable see as how we also had a lot more rain than usual for this time of year. The rain followed by the warm weather ensured plenty of moisture in the air. Coupled with our standard valley inversion creates the perfect recipe for fog. Unfortunately it also creates the perfect recipe for disaster as drivers always seem to get caught off guard.

Be careful out there

The Great Struggle

I have come to the conclusion that life is rarely easy, calm or fair. It seems that no matter how many mountains you conquer, there is another one waiting as you crest the ridge. I will confess that sometimes I ask God for a time of rest and whine at Him. Intellectually I know that He is in control and that He has a plan. Intellectually I know that He never allows more than I can handle. Sometimes however, all of the preceding seems rather nebulous.

Over the course of the last several weeks I have read the writings of the prophets Jeremiah and Ezekiel. This has served alternately as an encouragement and a source of despair. I look at how faithful they both were to continue proclaiming God's Word to an obstinate and uncaring generation - that encourages me to persevere. I also see that neither of them got any encouragement or support from the people around them or their circumstances. They both spent their entire ministry in "The Great Struggle" without any relief at all - this serves as a source of despair to me.

I have to constantly remind myself that this life is temporary and is primarily so that God can work a change in me. I hold on to the promises that His grace is sufficient and that He will supply what I need. I strive to spend more time on my knees and less time whining and I hold on to what I know no matter what I feel.

blessings on your day

Whole Foods

They are finally open :) We wandered over Saturday morning and spent too much on too little (easy enough to do there). I did end up with 2 new curries and some spicy mango chutney which I used to make my Kashmir Lamb Saturday night. We also picked up some great cinnamon bread.

The coffee bar is so-so, but they do have a very good breakfast buffet (and a taqueria, salad bar and noodle bowl bar). The wines are over priced but the cheese selection is better even than the Nugget. The meat counter has quite a few prepared meats as well (marinated, stuffed, etc.) We will certainly never do our grocery shopping there but it is nice to have someplace to go when you need that one, hard to find, special ingredient.

TSO

This Saturday, I get to see TSO :) Jimbo had an extra ticket, w00t! They have an amazing light show. This will be my 3rd time at their Christmas concert. If you ever get a chance, check them out.

Prepping the Yard

We worked in the yard much of Saturday, getting it cleaned up after several weeks of neglect. I did end up on the roof as the last rain clearly showed that my rain gutters needed some attention. It continues to amaze me that I can get chunks of stuff stuck in the gutters 10 years after the house was built. As best I can tell, birds are collecting chunks of wood and tile and depositing them in my gutters. Apparently Brookie was very amused (or confused) by the sight of Mr. Otto on the roof :)

Playoff Bound

With the win last Friday over Woodcreek, RHS is assured of a spot in the playoffs. This Friday we face Rocklin. Andrew actually got 2 TD receptions but the referee blew one of the calls so he only got credit for one of them. The official photographer actually got a shot of the first one showing Andrew's foot clearly inbounds :(

Watch or Record?

Don't forget to set your DVR for 8 pm if you can't be in front of the telly. There has been some talk of ending the series (Pushing Daisies of course) so tune in now before it is gone.

Speaking of "gone", I don't expect the Sarah Connor Chronicles to be around much longer. They seem to have run out of story lines after about the 3rd episode. Fringe is ok, but seems to move slowly at times. I really like Sanctuary - shlock SciFi, for sure but highly entertaining.

Haircut

Need one desperately! Subi is back on Sunday so perhaps I can look less like a shaggy dog. Speaking of dogs, Riley has really packed it on lately. Of course unless you used to looking at the walking skeleton that most whippets are, you might not notice.

I am enjoying work right now. The project I am on allows a lot more creativity than my usual, day-to-day activities. One of my favorite developers said good-bye today, he is heading out to Colorado.

Sarah is working on dinner for me tonight, which is very nice. She spent last weekend with her mom down in Clovis. House seemed awfully quiet (and clean) while she was gone [just kidding, Sarah - I really did miss you].

This Friday is the last regular season home game for RHS so it is Senior Night and we will be escorting the boy onto the field. If they beat Woodcreek, they are on track to finish the season as the division champions.

Side note to Jack-Sean - you sure have been heading to work early this week. Nice to see you finally working hard ;)

blessing on your day

It's Your Responsibility

Retail

For the Roseville area as for many regions in the country, the recession is hitting retailers hard. A substantial part of the tax revenue for Placer County comes from the auto-mall which is posting some of the worst sales figures in it's history. The list of store closings just keeps growing - Mervin's, Circuit City, Linen-n-Things, The Melting Pot, Shoe Pavilion.

Many lower income families rely heavily on finding seasonal employment to make it through the holidays. With fewer stores open and those that are, cutting back on staff, the employment outlook is bleak. The retail vacancy rate keeps rising as the small businesses close their doors and disappear.

What many see as a disaster is turning into an opportunity for the church. We have more Christmas charity programs this year in our church than in any previous Christmas. As you consider how to spend your hard earned dollars this Christmas season, consider sharing with those that are less fortunate.

blessings on your day

Let It Snow

The first significant snowfall is predicted for today and tonight. Snow levels today are to about 6,000 feet dropping to 5,000 tonight. They are calling for a foot of snow at the upper elevations.

WooHoo! Winter may arrive early this year.

Extra Sleep

I love the end of DST :) There is something about knowing that you get an extra hour of sleep that just tickles me. Of course every year the church service attendance gets a little weird as people wander in looking very confused. Always easy to tell who forget to reset their clocks.

Speaking of which, I used to work for Aerojet on swing shift while going to school. Twice every single year that I worked there, the swing shift supervisor would show up at the wrong time for work.

If God Could Talk

(repost from Bar'chu et Adonia)

I admit it, I listen to secular music. I love Rock'n'Roll and recently acquired some of the works of Meat Loaf. In general, I would not say that his music is either uplifting or inspiring. However, this morning I was listening to one of the songs titled "If God Could Talk" and I was struck by how much this echoes the cry of our generation and our society.

Poll after poll declares that people believe in god (small 'g' is deliberate as the pollsters make little effort to find out what "god" people believe in). Yet if you ask your friends, neighbors, colleagues or random strangers the last time God spoke to them, almost without exception they will simply blink at you (insert "deer in the headlights" image :).

God does speak. He did it of old and He does it today. The problem is not that God does not speak, it is that we have stopped listening. I recently finished reading Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. Jeremiah had the unenviable task of speaking God's word to a generation that had completely abandon Him. The longer I live, the more I feel that we are living in the same generation as Jeremiah. How long will God continue to allow our deafness to continue? At some point (and probably soon), He will lose patience and call for an ending.

Are you listening?

Revelation 2:7 'He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will grant to eat of the tree of life which is in the Paradise of God.'

And Down They Go

The RHS Tigers toppled the champion Granite Bay Grizzlies last night in the rain winning 35-34. We improve to 6-2,3-0. Click here to see the full story in the Sac Bee