Part of the process of doing a personal inventory includes "reviewing" the list of people that have either caused you pain or towards whom you hold a grudge. As is often the case, at first blush, I could remember little and blithely announced that I had no one on my list. It didn't take long, though before the memories started trickling in - and the trickle quickly became a torrent.
In the deep past of my childhood, much of my pain has been blocked out and buried deep. However, there has been a significant amount in the last decade or so that is still fresh enough to be close to the surface. As I start documenting the people and situation, I am forced to relive a lot of it - which in turn creates more pain. I know that this is a necessary thing and that working through these areas will leave me stronger and healthier. At the same time, it is also something I would rather avoid if I could.
My goal (at least short term) is to be honest and open in this process - and that includes identifying my role in what transpired. This will take time and prayer and I am confident that this is part of the "good work" that God is completing in me.
blessing on your day
No comments:
Post a Comment