News from the Otto-man Empire

Bon Voyage!

2011-12-15T09:16:00.000-08:00

My wife set her status quite a while back to "Life is a journey" and left it there. The older I get the more I realize that this is not just true but critical to understand.

When I was younger, my "destinations" were a new house, a new job, getting married, that car I always wanted or a long weekend. I have come to realize that the journey we are on is more like an ocean cruise. There are life-boat drills, days at sea, exciting ports of call and the occasional bout with motion sickness. None of these are actually your destination - they are, however, part of the journey. Right now, the leg of the voyage I am passing through is difficult at best and often intensely painful.

Anyone who spent time in recovery can attest that in order to do it (recovery) right, you need to spend some serious effort on "self-discovery." And anyone who has done this also knows that it usually brings things to light that you would rather stayed hidden away. I won't overwhelm my readers with all of the gory details but I would like to share some of the places this particular part of my "life journey" has taken me.

After many years of struggling with my addiction, I finally admitted I was was incapable (powerless) and surrendered my will to God. Of course this was not without some pretty severe (divine) interventions that caused lots of pain and grief to myself and many of those closest to me. It has taken 3 years for me to reach the place where I am ready to "go deep" and start looking at who I am and how I got here.

-<* This Part of the Journey Begins Below *>-

I am currently in a Celebrate Recovery Step Study where we will spend a year working through all of the 12-steps of recovery (I leave as an exercise to the reader to explore what CR is). I actually started this once before (over 2 years ago) but found reasons (excuses) to drop out. So far we have worked through the first two steps and it has mostly been a review of things that I dug up originally. Interestingly enough, it hasn't been any less painful the second time through. One new thing that has come up is that I find that I resent the fact that my wife has a better relationship with my dad than I do. As we talked about it we both realize that we see each others parents differently. The parents we grew up with are not the parents that our spouses have come to know.

History is a powerful thing. It can define who you are and create mountains that are overwhelming - or even seemingly impossible - to overcome. Letting go of the past and the pain associated with it is a constant struggle for me. On more than one occasion I have allowed (embraced?) resentment and chosen to use remembered-pain to define my life and determine my direction. For the record, this has always ended badly.

The only thing that makes it possible to let go at all is that I can cling to the Grace and Mercy of my Lord. By remembering (constantly) that He doesn't hold my past against ME I can let go (a little at a time) of the pain and resentments that are weighing me down. I can make different choices and take that grace that God gives me and apply it to the people around me. Because I have had such a difficult time accepting grace and mercy from God makes it all the more difficult to apply it to others - so once again, it is a journey and a process and a port-of-call that I haven't reached yet.

As I continue this discovery and healing process, I will share some of the things that I learn. Feel free to join me on this journey of life if you dare.

blessings on your day

Trust Me

2011-12-15T09:03:00.000-08:00

Trust issues - almost everyone seems to have them from time-to-time. I know I certainly do. It is kind of interesting watching how these issues play out in our lives. With many things and many situations, trust comes with experience. At an early age we learn to trust constants like "this chair will hold me up" and "if I cry mom or dad will come running." Eventually we learn that some people can be trusted and others can't. We learn that without trust in a relationship there can never be any depth. Many children (mine included) learned far too early that you can't even trust that your family will stay intact. Some learn that you can't trust your friends and family to treat you "appropriately."

Once trust is broken it can take a very long time (if at all) before it is regained. There are people in my life whom I will never trust and others who have my trust but not in all areas. The reasons are many - some because the trust was betrayed and others simply because I don't see integrity and "trustworthiness" in how they live their lives. I think that in order to trust someone you have to believe that they would put your interests before their own - and let's face it, this is a tough sell in today's society.

So how is it that I struggle daily with trusting God? He has NEVER failed to do what He says. He is constantly doing what is in my best interest. He has never let me down or abandoned me. He always exhibits integrity far beyond anything I can even imagine. I can spend hours telling you about all the things He has done in my life or in the lives of people close to me. Yet in spite of all this I struggle with trusting Him to run things.

I have come to realize that it is my own selfish nature that keeps me bound and unwilling to release control to Him. While intellectually I trust that He will do what I need, I don't trust Him to do what I want - and THAT is at the heart of my problem. There are things in my life that - quite frankly - I like, even while knowing that they aren't good for me and that they don't belong in my life. In part, it is the same mentality that I see in my kids. We hate "school" and we hate "boundaries" and we hate not being able to do absolutely anything we want whenever we want. And like our kids, the first place we run when our lives come crashing down is back to Daddy.

Letting go of the dark places, the bad habits and the selfishness is something I have to do daily - well more like minute-by-minute. Trusting that He has my back is easy - trusting that what He wants for my life is better than what I want is brutally hard.

blessings on your day

So very long

2011-11-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time - almost 8 months - since I last posted. There were reasons, some of which are still relevant and others that are not. Life is interesting (yes, sometimes interesting ala the 'Serenity' definition) and much water has flowed under the bridge since I last set down my thoughts here. My son got married and added a granddaughter to our lives in the process. Two of my girls became pregnant and delivered healthy baby girls (3 weeks apart) - yes I will post pictures when I remember to do so. Aaron signed up for the Army although he hasn't left for training yet. Another birthday has passed and we now have concrete in our backyard. We started the process of "plugging in" at our church by joining a couples study that lasted 10 weeks (we did Sacred mMarriage and iMarriage).

This time of year can be difficult, especially in blended families or when the family has scattered (in our case both are true). This holiday season has the potential to be a very one. I plan to grasp that potential and hold on for the ride.

blessings on your day

What can it hurt???

2011-03-07T08:59:00.000-08:00

FaceBook - the bright and shining star of the social media world. The rise to fame and the way it essentially cornered the market has been chronicled in books and even a movie. It is used to connect with lost friends, share information within a family or small community, promote a business or event, play games, connect students and teachers, researchers and subjects, promote revolution, organize boycotts, improve self-esteem (recent study) and countless other uses. The number of people who have FaceBook accounts (or even more than one account) has grown explosively. It is touted by companies, radio and TV, celebrities and even the government. In spite of all the security issues, it still remains the number one social networking site in the world.

Yet for the last year or so, we have heard a few, quiet murmurs from the Christian community questioning the value of FaceBook - or at least attempting to raise awareness of the risks. Now the (more or less) mainstream media has caught wind of the impact of FaceBook on the American marriage. In a recent article, divorce lawyers reported that about 20% of all divorces now include some negative impact from FaceBook (full article HERE). Social media have made the process of having an affair ridiculously easy. Now we can find and hook-up with old flames, former friends and total strangers all without ever leaving our keyboards.

No longer do we have to cultivate an intimate friendship at work, the gym or the grocery store. We can find people that share most (or all) of our pet interests with the click of a mouse. We can share intimate details of our lives, pictures and fantasies without the risk of someone seeing us at the local coffee shop.

And yet with all of that, there are still churches that promote FaceBook as a way to connect, stay in touch and disseminate information. It is ironic that these same churches would never consider putting up fliers at the local bar, liquor store strip club. When will we learn that technology is not the answer to every question?

How Do You Cope?

2011-02-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

Last night at my men's group, we were discussing the roots of addiction. The common theme (among all addicts) is the drive to find a way to hide or push away the pain. At some point in our lives - rather than learn how to cope - we discovered that medicating makes the pain tolerable. "Medicating" can take on many different forms. Over the years, I have come in contact with some of the different "medications" that people use to mange life, some (substance abuse) are obvious - some are not.

Some of the less obvious ones have included violence & control, eating disorders, reality tv (my life sucks so I want to watch YOURS), gaming, obsessions with the supernatural/fantasy, reading (this has been one of mine); work/career and shopping.

It seems as if we can not handle life without help, support and artificial means. I am sure that this says quite a bit about our society as a whole as well as the flaws in humanity. And, as I am sure most recovering addicts can attest - the urge to replace one addiction with another is insidious and often supported by recovery programs. The longer we "use" (whether a true addiction or one of the items listed above), the harder it is to handle life on life's terms. Truly I don't know how people without God in their lives manage to keep putting one foot in front of another. I know that it is only by the grace and mercy of God that I make it through every hour of every day.

This gives the old adage "let go and let God" a whole new twist.

blessings on your day

R.I.P.

2011-01-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got a call from the church we attended for many years. A friend had a heart attack and died suddenly. Roger and Betsy were some of our earliest friends at that church. When I got my cancer diagnosis (almost 5 years ago now), Betsy decided I needed to be lifted up and sent me 2-3 notes a week with scripture and words of encouragement. Even though we haven't seen each other for several years now, I was one of the people she asked the church to contact when her husband died.

Please pray for our friend Betsy and her 2 boys during this time of grief. Rest in peace Roger, we will see you again someday.

Surgery

2011-01-19T07:58:00.000-08:00

Emma's surgery on her shoulder went well. The doctor cleaned up her rotator cuff and that was about it. He said that she has severe inflammation and that there is nothing surgery can do to help her. I guess it is a "good-news, bad-news" thing. She goes in today to talk about options, next-steps and when she will be released back to work. Thank you for all the prayers and support the past week.

The Birds Are Angry

2010-12-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, I admit it - I do play games on my smartphone. Not a lot of games, mind you - I just don't have the time. Mostly I play Sudoku (and usually just during conference calls ;)

A little while back I read about the new gaming rage - Angry Birds. As it turns out, that game was available on the Palm Pre. Today, they also released the Christmas Edition! This game is HIGHLY addictive and you should absolutely never, ever play it!

;)

The Sound of Music

2010-12-13T09:52:00.000-08:00

The last couple of years we have started a tradition of taking in live theater during December. This year we went to a local production of The Sound of Music. Besides doing a great job in a small, rustic venue, the lead was a friend of ours - Coppelia.

Coppelia happens to be not only a superb Maria (her voice is amazing) but she is the music director at The Ridge Church as well as one of the on-air personalities at Air1. If you are local to south Placer county, try to catch a performance (make sure to get tickets for the "Vienna" cast).

Get In And Drive!

2010-12-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

I was listening to one of my favorite radio preachers this morning (during a commute from hell) and he shared a scene from the movie Blackhawk Down.

An army ranger colonel is trying to lead a convoy to safety amid a firestorm of enemy fire. He stops the convoy to retrieve some wounded soldiers. He drags a dead soldier out of the driver's seat of a jeep and turns to a sergeant standing near by.

"Get in and drive" says the colonel. "But colonel, I've been shot" stammers the sergeant. "We've all been shot - get in and drive!" yells the colonel.

The point of the preacher was, of course, that in the process of living we have all been shot - most of us repeatedly. I find that this is so very true. We are a world of the walking wounded. Some of us "get in and drive" and others sit down by the side of the road and give up. Every time I see the public out-pouring of support for some small child suffering from (put your favorite disease, condition or traumatic event here) all I can think about are the thousands of children suffering from the same thing in total obscurity.

I don't know why it is that some of us can keep putting one foot in front of the other while some curl into a ball and hide under a rock. I have hidden under a rock on occasion but God keeps gently prodding me until I get back on my feet and start moving again. I know that to live life engaged, interactive and relational is to brave a hail storm of bullets. Unless we completely isolate ourselves from the world (and especially from people) we are going to get shot at and occasionally wounded.

Ultimately it is what you do after getting shot that matters the most.

Get in and drive!

Oy

2010-12-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

What a week it has been at work. I have been working on a project that is visible all the way to the top of the corporate ladder (42 levels best I can tell). Not that there is any pressure but I was told "the staffing within the group will change if this isn't a sparkling success." As a result, I have been up to my ears in work trying to get the project back on track and back on schedule (the lead has been stuck out of the country for over 2 months now so I am now "driving").

We got all the decorations down and put out the ones we still have room for. The house is slowly starting to look like we live there (not just staying in a hotel). Andy and Dale hung racks and shelves in my garage so I am able to park 2 cars there now.

Cookie Day was a smashing success. We got 4 batches baked (usually only 2) and several thousand cookies distributed to family members.

Anyway, that is all I have time for as my task list isn't getting smaller while I type :)

blessings on your day

Time for Baking

2010-11-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything under the sun. Today is the time for baking!

I know that most families have traditions around the holidays. We all tend to think that the other families' traditions are odd but that our are perfectly normal. That being said, the longest running tradition that I am aware of in OUR family is Cookie Day.

For as long as I can remember, it has been our family tradition to gather the day after Thanksgiving and bake peppernuts. Peppernuts are a traditional German cookie (there are 2 types, those with anise and those with cardamom - ours are the latter). No matter where we are on Thanksgiving Day, we all gather back together on the Friday after. It is not unusual to bake up to 3 batches of cookies at about 700 cookies per batch. We warm up the leftover turkey, ham, stuffing, potatoes and yams. We mix the dough, roll out the cookies and have cooling racks set up all over the kitchen.

This year, for the first time, it is at our house. Truly, there is nothing like being surrounded by 25-30 family members and baking cookies. May you and your families have an amazing day as well.

What Are You Thankful For?

2010-11-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

There is so much to be thankful for in my life.

I have been cancer free for 2 years now
We moved into a new home last month
I have 8 children, 3 "kid-in-laws", 1 grandson and the most amazing wife
I am employed at a thriving company
I live in a country where I can worship the way I want; have access to churches, teaching and radio ministries and can witness openly
We have never gone hungry, been homeless or suffered persecution

The list could be much larger of course. I have great friends, wonderful family and the Hand of God in my life. As we gather around the table this holiday season I want to remember that there are many here in this country and around the globe that have far less but are so much more grateful than we are. Sometimes when we are so very blessed, we start to take those blessings for granted. Take a few moments today to reflect on the Grace and Mercy of our Heavenly Father and remember.

blessings on your day

VOTD

2010-11-24T09:21:00.001-08:00

Let us come to him with thanksgiving. Let us sing psalms of praise to him.

~ Psalm 95:2, NLT

Live right and live well!

2010-11-23T10:01:00.000-08:00

[repost]

Isaiah 42:6 - “I am God. I have called you to live right and well. I have taken responsibility for you, kept you safe. I have set you among my people to bind them to me, and provided you as a lighthouse to the nations."

God has kept us safe for a purpose. He gives us the mission to live right and well. This twofold purpose draws other people to Him. Not just to be righteous, but live well. Enjoy life. Delight in each day and in the people God has placed in our life! Thank you Lord for Your amazing plan.

Joani L. Burris
Refined daughter of the Most High King

Verse of the Year

2010-11-23T08:57:00.000-08:00

⁷ Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. ⁸ Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

Joshua 1:7-8 (NLT)

Altars

2010-11-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Altars are interesting things. What we call an altar today bears little (or no) resemblance to the altars that the Israelites built during the time before the kings. From the time of Abram, altars had a special meaning. Every time there was an interaction with God, someone stopped and built an altar. They built altars when they were blessed, they built altars when they were disciplined, they built altars when God revealed Himself.

Altars in the Old Testament were special. They were built of "undressed stone" (just big rocks that were laying around nearby), they were named (and remembered) and often assembled of a particular number of stones (12 is the most common). Time and again these altars are spoken of as "and it is known by this name today" meaning that people of subsequent generations saw the altars and knew why they had been built.

Altars today are often little more than ornate (or not so ornate) tables that hold up candles, bibles and the host during communion. The commemorate nothing and stand for nothing. They have no special or lasting significance.

When was the last time you stopped and built an altar? When was the last time you acknowledged what God had done or was doing in your life and immortalized the moment? When was the last time you opened the photo album and walked your children through the altars of YOUR life? How many of us can recount even one event from our parents and grandparents lives showing the Hand of God? How many of our children will be able to do that for OUR lives?

Build an altar today. Create a memory/record of what God has done for you. Share it with your children so that THEY won't forget either. We need more altars.

blessings on your day

A Little Help

2010-11-12T08:09:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we finished up the move from the rental (Wednesday Emma cleaned the rental and returned the keys). Aaron came up Friday night and along with Kennedy and his friend Rick helped me load up the truck with the last few (very heavy and awkward) pieces of furniture. Aaron stayed until Sunday afternoon and installed my stereo system (speakers are mounted in the ceiling) and hung out with us. It was great seeing him. Aaron has been - and continues to be - a source of encouragement to me. He has shared some of the same struggles that I deal with in my life. The difference is that he is actively doing something about about 25 years earlier than I did. He is an awesome man of God and I am very proud of him.

Saturday afternoon, Hannah and her BF Tyler came up as well. I think I spent more time with Tyler last weekend than I have in total since I met him :) He is a really good guy and I am glad to see that he makes my daughter happy. Sunday we all went to church together and then I made supper before they headed back south.

It was a great weekend and spending time with some of my children made it very special indeed.

Before and After

2010-11-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

I Won't!

2010-11-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have always maintained that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I have often been told that I am acting like a kid. The other day I stumbled over a quote on the internet that seems to sum it up pretty well :)

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope." -Meredith Grey

Keys

2010-10-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

We got the keys to the new home yesterday. Emma moved over the first part of the the "kitchen." Last night I packed both cars door-to-door and floor-to-ceiling :)

I will start working on the electrical changes tonight after work with the hope that I can start the painting on Thursday.

My Hope

2010-10-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

One of the Air1 personalities (ok, it was Coppelia, she and Adam are awesome people) posted the following link to a song on the Owl City blog. It was a great reminder today. Remembering where our hope lies is crucial to surviving in today's society (or in any other for that matter).

It is easy to get caught up in the world. For me it has been the new home we are moving into. It has been all too easy to focus on moving and decorating. As much as I love my new home it isn't sufficient to save me, encourage me or sustain me. We can put our hope in things, in the church or in people. All will ultimately fail us. In the end it matters not how strong our faith and hope but rather the object of that faith and hope.

My Hope Is Found

Blessings on your day

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

We had all the family over yesterday to celebrate Noah's birthday - he is in double digits now :) It has been a while since we all got together. Andy & Rae came up from Fresno and Nate spent the weekend with us. After everyone left, Andy & Rae stayed for dinner with the Carnrike's. I made a big pan of home made scalloped potatoes per Noah's request. This morning, after she drops Noah off at school, Emma will pick up the keys to the new house. Today we start the last step in the ordeal and begin shifting our belongings one more time.

Walk On By

2010-10-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

Our walk-thru is done and we get our keys Monday before lunch :o) Tallifer and Mitch did an awesome job! Most of the stuff is minor touch up work. We also contacted the grout guy who will seal our grout Monday and an electrician who will hang our pendants over our bar. I can't wait to start moving in. We will load up the Pilot with the essentials so Emma can start organizing the kitchen Monday. We might have enough stuff there by Thursday night to sleep - for sure by Saturday night. November 6th is the day I will reserve a truck and get the larger furniture moved.

Watch for our house warming party (probably after the first of the year).

Revelation Song

2010-10-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

One of my (current) favorite Christian songs is Revelation Song by Phillips, Craig and Dean. In case it isn't obvious, this song is based on verses from the book of Revelation at the end of the bible. It is interesting to note that Revelation has some of the most amazing worship lyrics in the whole of Scripture. Nowhere else do we see the praises sung to God laid out in such a vibrant fashion. The last book of the bible is most well know for containing the visions that Jesus gave to John chronicling the end of the world. Very few people realize the depth and extent of the worship contained in those words.

Take a few moments today to browse the chapters and underline all the passages where God is worshiped in song and verse. I think you will be surprised :o)

Baskerville, CA

2010-10-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

The Carnrike family are on vacation for a few days so we get to watch their dog. I affectionately call him The Beast. He is a lovable lunk with a heart the size of Colorado and a brain the size of a walnut :)

The Last Hill

2010-10-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

This is it - the last weekend that we will be able to walk around inside our new home before we actually move in. We do our inspection next Wednesday at which point we will be locked out until we "accept" the house on the 26th. During that time, they will work to address all the issues we identify during our walk-thru. Before much longer I will be posting pictures of the move :)

Imagine

2010-10-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

Imagine a world without cancer. As I am sure most of you know, this is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Like you, the casual reader, I have lost family to breast cancer. Like some of you, I am a cancer survivor. It has been 4 years since my treatment and over 2 years since my tests came back clean and free of cancer. I would be lying if I said it did not have an impact on my life.

We never know what the future holds. There is no security outside our God. No matter what plans we make, how well we take care of ourselves, save for the future - it is in His hands. God's plan and purpose for our lives is to prepare us to be with Him for eternity. Regardless of the challenges, the set backs or the cancers, we have a hope and assurance that will never let us down or disappoint us. It matters not the size of your security - it matters the object of your security.

blessings on your day

Reflections

2010-10-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

From time to time, our paths cross those of people that are from a different background, social strata, culture, religion or philosophical view. It is interesting to me how little effort we make to turn those "path crossings" into relationships. We seem to spend 99% of our time investing in people that are just like us. I know that I am very much guilty of this. While I work very hard not to be prejudiced and biased I also know that if people don't fit MY pattern, I tend to avoid them.

The problem of course, is that this very much contrary to the examples that Jesus gave us. He avoided His "network" and reached out to the lepers, the outcasts and the social pariahs. These are the people that we tend to avoid, ignore and gently move to the side. Having a heart like our Savior means that we need to love the people that HE loves. It means reaching out to the ones that are different, make us uncomfortable and that don't fit in our cozy little world.

Step outside your stained glass box and go meet some of the rest of the world today.

Chocolate Heaven

2010-10-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

Becky, who works in our office, just got back from Las Vegas, While she was there she picked me up some chocolate bars. Visges makes a dark chocolate bar (55%) that has Ancho Chipotle chilis and cinnamon. It is like a taste of heaven. I understand that Nugget market is starting to carry them as well. :D

Surviving

2010-10-04T14:54:00.000-07:00

Over the last year, I have mentioned my desk calendar on survival. Periodically I like to share a few of the gems. In the last month I have learned how to survive:

A UFO Abduction
A Night in jail
A Minefield
An Elephant Stampede

I forebear to comment on any of these other than to say I hope the issues never arise :)

Latest House News

2010-10-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

It has been a while so I thought I would post a few pictures for those that don't visit my photo albums...

Master bathroom is almost done - just need a tub :)

Counter tops are in, you can see the color better in this one

Front yard is done, fences are up

Pondering

2010-09-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

Of course as a hard-core Pinkie and the Brain aficionado, the title of this post immediately evoked the image I added. However, this post is intended to be a tad more serious then perhaps the image suggests.

Over the last year we have dealt with a lot of "circumstances" in our lives.   I know that these experiences has had a profound impact on who we are. This is one of those posts where I will meander through my memories and do what I can to chronicle things without making any real effort to explain, analyze or bring closure. I hope that you, the casual reader, will indulge me for a bit....

My oldest daughter got married last year in October. While she wasn't the first wedding among our kids, it was the first time I walked down the aisle with one of them.   It was a stark reminder to me that the my relationship with my children has changed over the years. I went from a dad to a "distant dad" to the father of the bride to grandpa. The marriage of my daughter Sarah this month (to an amazing young man named Dale) underscored that this is the next season in fatherhood. My family is growing and becoming more complex. I am watching my children move on and develop their own families. This is a bittersweet experience, to be sure. [The specter of my own mortality first appeared when I was diagnosed with cancer for my 48th birthday]

Last fall I finally confronted my addiction and struggled to deal with the impact to my marriage and my relationships. I have spent time in Celebrate Recovery and am currently part of a very strong accountability group. After 35 years on the roller-coaster, it is time to get out of the park.

This spring we decided to sell our house and move.   This was not a trivial decision as that house was the one that was our first real home. Noah was born there, we worked through most of the blended family issues and melded 10 dysfunctional human beings into a relationship that will last. We developed friendships in that house that have blessed us beyond belief. We spent immeasurable hours (days, weeks, months...) modifying, customizing, decorating and landscaping. Now we get to start over - start over with neighbors, start over with decorating and start over with landscaping.

It is easy to get lost in all of the "stuff" and lose sight of our purpose. It is easy to get distracted and forget who is in charge. It is easy to get discouraged and forget that this is just "schooling" to prepare us for eternity. It is easy to lose sight of the blessings that have been in all of the circumstances of the last year.

Today is a day of reflections and gratitude. Blessings on your day.

Stoopid Computer!

2010-09-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have collected quotes from various movies. Most of the movies are goofy or cheesy Sci-Fi. One of my favorites came up recently when someone complained about their computer.

Can you name this movie?

It's a machine. It doesn't get mad, it doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes......IT JUST RUNS PROGRAMS!

VOTD

2010-09-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

~ Proverbs 4:23, NLT

That's Cheating

2010-09-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

Whether it is dieting, driving, doing our taxes, playing games or being in a relationship America is in an epidemic. Finding someone who has never cheated in any way is, for all practical purposes, impossible in this country. Is it any wonder that we - like Israel of old - cheat on God?

We are a people of divided loyalties. We worship at the alter of Hollywood, Madison Avenue and the local Auto Mall. We put the observance of the high holy days of "Superbowl-Sunday", "Opening Day" and "my kid's soccer game" ahead of Sunday worship. We take our first fruits and invest in Coach, Nike and the house of Nordstrom rather than give to the church. We compromise our politics, our principles and our morals on a daily basis.

We ignore sound doctrine and theology to chase after the lure of the Prosperity Preachers, the Feel-Good Crowd and the teachers who tell us we don't ever have to feel guilt, shame or accountability.

The time is coming when we will be called upon to choose. Will we follow our Lord no matter what the cost or will we follow the crowd of comfort seekers and cheaters that seem to populate most of our world?

Ladies and Gentlemen

2010-09-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

I present to you:

Mr. and Mrs. Dale Wooten

I Cried

2010-09-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

I cried walking her down the aisle. She was so very beautiful.

Pretty Maids, All In A Row

2010-09-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

Are you ladies ready?

(Heather, Rachael, Hannah, Sarah, Hanna)

How Do I Look?

2010-09-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

Let's get these pictures over with before the guests arrive....

Getting Ready

2010-09-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

It is almost time

QOTD

2010-09-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

The "quote-of-the-day" was one of my all time favorites this morning. I am a huge fan of Lewis Carroll (did you know he was a minister and a renowned mathematician who specialized in logic puzzles?).

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward.

Painted

2010-09-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

They finished the exterior painting on the house. Yesterday they installed the cabinets and the baseboards (in the rooms that have carpet). The tile is in the downstairs bathroom. Next week they will be starting to lay the floor tiles. It is amazing how fast they go. We went from framed & wrapped to cabinets in a month.

A Time for Reflection

2010-09-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon we head down to Dos Palos. The 3rd of our girls is getting married. Sarah and Dale actually live in Fresno but his family is from the Los Banos area. The wedding will center around Dale's family home. Friday night we are staying with Andy and Rachael.

Weddings are always bitter-sweet for dad's - especially the weddings of their girls. It is a time when we formally let go of them and bless their binding to another. I am sure the weekend will be an emotional one for all of us. I will see if I can post a few pictures when I get back.

blessings on your day

Delaware Election

2010-09-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

It is pretty rare for me to mention politics IRL let alone on this blog. The recent comments by the GOP, however, are simply crying out for a response. Oddly enough, only a few days again, the GOP was crowing over the opportunity to retake control of the senate - largely due to Tea Party upsets. Some within the GOP apparently thought that the Tea Party victories were some sort of mandate and endorsement of the Republican party.

They just don't get it. Much of America - the heart and soul of this country, the middle class, conservative majority - are fed up with politics and politicians. The fact that many of the Tea Party candidates are labeled as Republicans is incidental to the movement. Once we gain enough support, I am quite sure that the Tea Party will split entirely from the GOP. When we do, it will shatter the current political landscape. I am sure that the result will be a divided 3-party system that will - in the short term - see the Democrats on top. They will rejoice, throw parties and declare loudly that they have the "mandate." 2-3 elections later when the defectors from both the original parties flock to the Tea Party is when you will finally start to see some real politcal reform.

Wake and smell the ~~coffee~~ tea!

VOTD, 09/14/2010

2010-09-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?...

~ Isaiah 43:19, NLT

That's One Down

2010-09-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well this morning, I put my head down and pounded on the keyboard - fighting with the system until finally I won the battle. I have been trying to migrate (and upgrade) one of our systems for over a week now. After several false starts and a long conversation with the tech support guy, it looks like the migration worked. I turned over the development system to my team mate who can now go forward with his testing.

Not a huge victory perhaps, but still one to celebrate. It hasn't been often of late that I even get the opportunity to take on a system without ending up compromising the solution in the name of expediency. It felt good to be able to tell my boss that the issue was resolved and closed out. Of course his response was "so you are ready for the next project?" which wasn't the one I was looking for but it works :)

Looks Like a House

2010-09-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

It is starting to look like an actual house. The stucco is done and the outside trim is in place. You can see where the tile goes around the front entry. They poured the exterior concrete today and are supposed to put the stair rails in today as well. Pretty soon we will need to get a construction key to get in. Next week they paint the inside and deliver the cabinets.

VOTD

2010-09-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

"Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin."

Psalm 19:13, NLT

Do You Burn?

2010-09-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

I am not going to post a link to the news stories (feel free to Google it) of the church in Gainesville that is hosting a book burning simply because every news wire on the net is running the story. I will try hard not to blast the pastor and the congregation. What I do want to say is that this is a bad idea on too many levels to even list. So rather than try to touch on all aspects, let me focus on the one that counts.

Does the Qur'an contain the Word of God? Not as far as I am concerned. Is the book particularly holy? Not to me. Have some Muslims been guilty of terrorist attacks against my country? Absolutely!

Does the Word of God support this type of a response? On occasion it does. Always in the Old Testament, always at the direct command of God, always for a specific situation and always as a means of purifying the Land. Regardless of the televangelists claims to the contrary, America is NOT God's Promised Land. We have not been commanded to tear out root and stalk everything that is incompatible with that. We are not in a holy war against Islam (or Muslims).

In fact, the Word commands us to leave judgment, vengeance and justice to the Almighty God. We are commanded to love our enemies and pray for those that abuse us. We are told to turn the other cheek and to reach out in love and compassion.

Please explain to me Reverend Jones, how this shows the love of Jesus to a lost and hurting generation?

Can't Buy Me Love

2010-09-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

We are all (well anyone over 35 at least) are familiar with the Beatles tune in the title of this post. And for many years we have been told that money can't buy happiness either (although counterfeits of both are available on the street corner or through mail order).

Now, according to researchers at Princeton, you can, in fact, buy happiness. And in case you were wondering, it costs about $75,000 a year. While I don't dispute the findings of the research team, I am greatly discouraged and saddened by this. Ultimately, this is an indictment of our society in general and the advertising industry specifically. I recognize that there are basic needs that people have that can be best met with money. At the same time it drives home the point that we find our security in the balance in our bank account, the size of our house and the type of car we drive.

Even in the Christian community, I see more and more people who are reckless with their money and are constantly battling insolvency. Yes, I readily agree that God sends trials our way - especially when it comes to how we handle our money (or allow it to handle US). I agree that we are not to be hoarders and misers. The Word is very clear, however, in the instructions to be careful and wise stewards of the resources God provides us.

God has "instructed" Emma and I more than once on the value of finding security in money as well as provided a number of lessons on wise spending. I find it prudent to take these lessons to heart and practice them diligently. While God certainly encourages us to enjoy the blessings He pours out on us, He also wants the focus to be on the Giver and not on the gifts.

blessings on your day

Prayer Request

2010-09-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Today a little 2 year old girl wandered away from her house, went through an open gate and fell into a pool. She was found later and pronounced dead at Sutter Roseville Hospital. Emma sat with the family as they dealt with the whole attempt at resuscitation and the failure to revive her. The story is HERE.

Please pray for the family as well as Emma. Apparently the grandmother is also a nurse at the hospital. This is a stark reminder that the lives of our children are on God's Hands. No matter how good we are as parents and how vigilant we are, sometimes accidents happen.

Pray for your children

Design It!

2010-09-01T15:08:00.000-07:00

We spent 3 hours at the design studio last night. We picked tile, laminate, carpet (2 kinds), counter tile, back-splashes and liners. Every room will have a slightly different feel. We worked hard to keep from a generic feel to the house. A lot of people just choose an option package from a list. We wanted things that made a statement and expressed our personality (while still staying neutral and flexible).

This should about conclude the modifications to the house (at least the ones that roll into the mortgage). Next up - pendant lights, ceiling fans and window treatments. Oh and we still have to hand-select our granite for the kitchen counters.

Couture Cakes

2010-09-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

Check out my step-daughters website. She has started baking cakes :)

http://couturecakes.shutterfly.com/

A Time To Rest

2010-08-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

We have been on a dead run since the middle of May. We put our house on the market and started the mad scramble and dance. We rode the roller-coaster for months as we had good days and not so good days. We watched offers come and go. Sometimes we spent whole weekends dodging realtors and other weeks we saw no activity at all. All during that time we toured new housing developments (17 in all) as well as existing homes (at least 50). We put in offers on short sales; went down to the contracting stage with 3 different builders; fell in love with homes we could not buy; dealt with frustration, elation, despair and exhaustion.

Then came the day that we accepted (after negotiation) an offer on OUR house. The intensity got ratcheted up by 200% over night. We started packing, searching for a place to live, searching for a place to BUY, repairing flaws (at the insistence of the buyers) and scrambling to figure out what school Noah would attend.

We finally found a rental, started the process of buying a house 3 days prior to school starting. This allowed us to get him enrolled (transfer out of Roseville, transfer IN to Rocklin, enroll in the new school less than 24 hours prior to starting). The house we are buying was at a critical stage of construction and we have barely been able to keep up with choosing options in time to get them installed. Tomorrow night we have to spend 3-4 hours and select all the tile, counter tops and flooring for the house.

Last weekend we filled a 24-foot truck TWICE with our belongings as we moved out (and cleaned) the house that has been our home for the last 11 years.

We need some time off very badly. Hopefully this week is the last of the choices for the new house and we can spend some time just resting.

Happy Birthday!

2010-08-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, my love :o)

Closed

2010-08-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

We signed the papers Monday night. A bittersweet experience to say the least. It is exciting to be watching our new home be built. It is great being able to choose the options and upgrades that are most important to us. Noah loves his new school. At the same time we said good bye to the house where Noah was born and were Emma and I built a family.

It is a reminder that nothing lasts forever except the grace of God. All things have a season and the seasons change. I know that this new house is a place that God has prepared for us and that we will thrive, grow and develop now relationships.

blessings on your day

Saying Good-bye

2010-08-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

And So It Starts

2010-08-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

I am picking up the truck this afternoon. I reserved a 24-foot Budget truck so we should be able to get everything in one load. We took another set of boxes over last night which transferred most of the kitchen. Only a few items left to go. I still have to box up my personal stuff in the bedroom and we have a bit more clothes left in the closet. Emm took the equipment back to Surewest this morning and Comcast will be out to the rental tomorrow.

The really depressing thing is that we have to do this all over again at the end of October.

Sarah's bridal shower is tomorrow from 11 to 1, Emma will head over there while the rest of us eat some lunch. It makes me a little sad that I can't pop in and say hi. Hopefully her and Dale will stop by the house on their way home...

Almost There

2010-08-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Spent the weekend finishing up boxing the house. We are %95 done with what needs to be packed up. The bulk of the reminder is stuff that we will move "by hand" in the back of the car. My buddy Lee came over and helped me do up the garage and start the process of tearing down some of the unused bedroom furniture. Friday afternoon I pick up the moving truck and we start shifting all the boxes we have spent the last 2 weeks filling.

The chaos will continue for a while. We will be in the rental house for 8-10 weeks (best guess) and then we move again. Hopefully after November, we won't be moving for another 10-15 years.

blessings on your day

August at The Oakes

2010-08-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

(From Clare)

Hello and welcome to this report from the Jungle.....

Hmmm ... don't worry I haven't gone crazy, it's just that the Oakes, in some areas, is resembling something more South American rainforest than Gerogian listed building. It's amazing what can be achieved with a little paper, glue, white tac & copious amounts of imagination. 'Rumble in the Jungle' the summer theme is in earnest.

Yesterday we said goodbye to forty plus 11-15 year olds, and tomorrow we welcome in forty plus 10-14 year olds! Quick turnovers are necessary for the rest of August to fit in with the strange Sheffiels school holiday dates. It means that we are able to keep the traditonal six camps, three, 4 day and three, 6 day versions. One of the 6 day camps would have had to have been axed which would have been a real shame as having the children here for longer enables better relationships to be built, more time for them to think, and team to come alongisde and be there for the questions. Of which there has been many, praise God!

Huge praises are necessary as we have had the priviledge of watching God open camper's eyes and have that moment of realisation (and salvation) as they come to see for the first time their heavenly Father and their relationship with Him. It has also been tough knowing what some of the young people on holiday will be going back to in their home situations and trying to bring God's light into those places.

Praise God for:
*The summer camps have been going really well - many children hearing and responding to the gospel.
*The children on summer 1 who committed their lives to God
*New & past team members coming to help on camp (sometimes in the kitchen!) - lots of new energy & enthusiam
*Current team and all they have done during this last year and how their faith has matured.
*The new guest rooms in the extension have been full every camp! Very timely provision.
*The lovely new office upstairs for Luke, Tom, Erica, Mez, Andy and me - again very timely in it's provision!

Pray for:
*The next 3 summer camps, quite intense with one day off between each one
*More males for next year's team - a repeated summer prayer theme every year ...
*Wisdom in where I move to out of The Oakes during the Autumn.
*Better health & energy for me - so that I can complete my job well both practically cooking & on the paperwork
*Productive & efficient time to complete menu's & training prep for the new year, whilst also concentrating on the summer camp cooking/ordering combo.
*A restful time during the 'closed' period.

Thank you so much for all your prayers, they have been quietly sustaining me and a real encouragement!

Your sister in Christ,
Clarey

Housing Update

2010-08-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

A picture of the house we bought. We filled out the survey from the builder and came up with 17 different new-home developments we visited not counting the 40-50 pre-built homes we toured. This was the 4th time we got to the point of contracting. So it was a pretty big deal that after 90 days of searching we actually signed a contract.

This is what our house will look like (sans the design studio which replaced the garage on the model) in a couple of years once the trees grow up.

AB Pangburn :)

2010-08-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

His first town pass. He is in Biloxi now for his 1st round of training.

Well Now

2010-07-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have shared some of my desk calender with you, the casual reader, in the past. Yesterday's page was rather cool (if not terribly practical). It provided an over view of how to leap from a motorcycle to a car. Now you may ask why is this cool? Well because according to the calendar, both vehicles should be traveling at speed down an highway :)

Granted, I am unlikely to ever actually attempt this (my life insurance policy explicitly excludes "acts of extreme stupidity") but still it is a very cool thing to know how to do - if only in the theoretical. I have decided, however, to never take any of these pages home and let Noah get his hands on them ;)

blessings on your day

Never Surrender

2010-07-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

My play list on my iPod seems to be stacked just right today :) Yet another one that really touched me.

Never Surrender
by Skillet

[V1]
Do you know what it's like when
You're scared to see yourself
Do you know what it's like when
You wish you were someone else
Who didn't need your help to get by
Do you know what it's like
To wanna surrender

[Chorus]
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here
And never surrender

[V2]
Do you now what it's like when
You're not who you wanna be
Do you know what it's like to
Be your own worst enemy
Who sees the things in me I can't hide
Do you know what it's like to wanna surrender

[Bridge]
Make me feel better
You make me feel better
You make me feel better
Put me back together

VOTD

2010-07-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

"For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke."

Psalm 66:17, NLT

All You Got

2010-07-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

All You Got
by Tait

I heard you say that no one seems to care ‘bout you
It’s in your eyes, you think that life’s unfair to you
Just give it all you got, my friend
Just give it all you got, it’s not the end

CHORUS
Cause you oughta know
There’s a reason for these changin’ seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don’t you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they’re loved
My friend
So hold on, it’s not the end

As I remember everything you touch
Would turn to gold
You held the secrets
To make your grandest dreams unfold
You were the very best of us all
But the sun that rises still falls

CHORUS

It’s just a love song
Cause everybody needs a friend
I’ll be right here for you
Just a simple prayer
It’s from the bottom of my heart
That He’ll never let you go

CHORUS

What is next?

2010-07-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

I find it hard to blog these days, the emotional roller-coaster of buying/selling a house is draining. From the emotional high last week of thinking it was a done deal to the despair of feeling like it will never happen - and every emotion in between. I have come to the point that I am not even sure of what God's will or plan is in regards to the whole process. As much as I pray for ultimate enlightenment all I hear is "wait and trust Me." The end result is that I feel off balance and uncertain most of the time. It is hard to have hope when you don't know what direction you will be traveling. This of course is exactly what trusting is about.

I struggle daily with trusting in God to make things work out - well this isn't quite true. What I really struggle with is not knowing if what I heard from Him (to go ahead and sell the house) also translates into a sold house and a NEW house. I recognize that God is in complete control of the process and there truly is nothing I can do to help things along.

I keep praying, reading the Word and do the best I can to go forward in the direction that seems to be the right one.

blessings on your day

VOTD

2010-07-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise."

Hebrews 10:23, NLT

VOTD

2010-07-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

"...let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him..."

Hebrews 10:22, NLT

No Deal

2010-07-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

The buyer backed out of the deal - no sale :(

2010-07-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

Today on my lunch break, I had a pretty significant "God Time." I started out by sitting in my car and pondering how difficult things have been in our selling/buying a house process. I could write pages enumerating our tribulations, frustrations and disappointments. I started praying and (once again) turned it all over to God. We always knew (and said) that God needed to be in control of the situation as it was too complex and we wanted to end up in exactly the right house as well as selling ours to the right people.

After spending a few minutes in prayer, I flipped open my Nook and loaded the NLT bible that I have been reading. I am in the middle of Exodus right now - and the chapter I started today opened with Exodus 19 where the Lord reaffirms His covenant with Israel and promises to lead them to the Promised Land. Within moments, I got a text message from my real estate agent telling me that the counter offer had been verbally accepted. Less than an hour later we got a call from the housing development offering to put a "lock" on the single, remaining lot available that would have the model we wanted - at the cheapest elevation and with no lot premium (regardless of the fact that we consider it one of the more premium locations). The picture above is of the same model elsewhere in the development.

Praises be to the One who sits on the throne!

Failure is not an option

2010-07-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

One of my deepest fears is the fear of failure. It has controlled much of my life, driven my strongest reactions and influenced most of my decisions. At times I am convince that I have no value, that I will never succeed and that I am incapable of being who God asks me to be. Slowly, over time, I am learning that this is a lie from the enemy. I am not saying that there are not time that I fail - they have been many and some have been spectacular. This does not define who I am nor is it the pattern for my life.

Being a Christian is about being forgiven. God's grace and mercy are what defines us and gives us the chance for a new pattern.

blessings on your day

Drowning Yet?

2010-06-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

I read the devotion of the day over at Daily Bread and I had to smile.

A South African man surprised nine men robbing his home. Seven of the robbers ran away, but the homeowner managed to shove two into his backyard pool. After realizing that one of the robbers couldn’t swim, the homeowner jumped in to save him. The Cape Times reports that once out of the pool, the wet thief called to his friends to come back. Then he pulled a knife and threatened the man who had just rescued him. The homeowner said, “We were still standing near the pool, and when I saw the knife I just threw him back in. But he was gasping for air and was drowning. So I rescued him again.”

It is a great analogy of how God deals with us. Over and over we end up in the deep water, drowning. Over and over He rescues us. Rather than gratitude, we respond with anger, resentment and bitterness. Yet through it all, God never gives up and He never stops loving us. How many times does Jesus need to rescue us from the water before we embrace Him?

Focus In

2010-06-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

As I think most of us know - ultimately all things come down to focus. Whether we are playing sports, working on a project, solving a puzzle or working on our relationships if you lose focus, things tend to fall apart. The trick is to focus on the right things. Most of the casual readers out there are familiar with my struggles over the last year. One thing that has made a difference is my circle of friends that I meet with on Tuesday nights. We get together to share our victories and defeats, look for advice or just an ear to listen and we work hard to hold each other accountable for our choices. It is a VERY safe place to share and things get said there that are never repeated outside that room.

At the same time we are able to learn from each other, build each other up and share what we have learned. Last week our fearless leader started a series of questions out of the workbook we are using. I don't remember all of the questions although I do remember that they built on each other. The last question struck my like a lightening bolt and stayed with me like an out of work relative (just kidding).

The question was "Will you battle your addiction this week or will you embrace your Savior?" It hit me that the answer to this question this really is the answer to a lot of questions. We all have things that are struggles and issues in our lives (at least all of us that are honest), especially if we have chosen to follow God. I have likened it to fighting a war - except that in this war if you lose even a single battle you can lose the entire war. We are human - fallible and frail at our best. If our focus is on fighting the battle we are at risk. No matter how strong, committed and determined we are, sooner or later we will slip, make a fatal mistake and lose the current battle.

However, if we admit that we can't do it, that we don't have the will, the strength or the courage to fight the battle 24x7; if we turn the fight over to someone who DOES have the characteristics that we lack - we can win the war. It has been said that the best way to win a war is to not fight one. We have an advocate - a warrior who will stand in our place and do battle in our stead. When we turn it over to God - when we embrace our Savior instead of throwing ourselves into the fray we can not only survive but we can thrive.

Focus on the wrong things and you end up broken, bleeding and defeated. Focus on the right things and you emerge victorious, strong and alive. As the crusader said to Indiana Jones - "choose wisely."

blessings on your day

VOTD

2010-06-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

"So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up."

Galatians 6:9, NLT

Hiatus Ending?

2010-06-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

It has been a few weeks since I stopped posting. I truly needed the break. We took a break from showing OUR house and looking for a new one as well. With all the other stuff going on and my FIL here, we had to find ways to pull back our wings a bit. Pop left yesterday morning so we will work on the house this weekend. We need to get it back into "show shape" so we can release it back into the pool.

Father's Day was nice. I got to see or talk to all my kids. Andrew used up several of his precious and rare phone-minutes to call me from boot camp. That really meant a lot to me and touched my heart. Golfing was fun if not exactly a clinic on style and form. I did manage to have a few good holes which is what keeps me from throwing all the clubs into the river.

More as it occurs to me :o)

Burn Out

2010-06-08T16:17:00.000-07:00

I am feeling pretty fried right now. Several weeks ago we decided to start the process of finding a new place to live. Not that our current home is bad but just because it is the time to do so. As I think I stated before, we want to trade bedroom space for living space.

The process is emotionally intense and frustrating. 3 times we have "found the one" only to discover that it wasn't. The reasons are complex. Once the house was affordable but the utilities and taxes would have killed us. One time the builder just wouldn't deal. Once we actually put down a deposit only to pull back at the last minute because it just didn't feel right.

The second half of the equation, of course, is selling OUR house. I did a lot of minor repair/touch up work (missed a couple items I need to take care of this weekend). We have hidden away a lot of the personal items and run around the house straightening and cleaning every time we leave to go anywhere. The whole thing is certainly an exercise in trusting God. There is very little about the process that is actually under our control. Letting go of all of it and keeping my hands off is very difficult. If you get the chance, please pray that we find the right house to buy and that God brings the right people to buy our house.

Happy Birthday

2010-06-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

To Me :o)

A Sinking Feeling

2010-06-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

I was reading about the sinkhole in Guatemala City this week. As I looked at the images and read the descriptions of what happened and why I was struck by how similar that is to my own life.   Often, things look great on the surface.   Underneath, however, decay and erosion are destroying the foundations.   When the collapse comes, people marvel at the destruction and express amazement that such a thing could happen.

The interesting thing about the Guatemalan event was that this wasn't isolated. In fact a similar event occurred several years ago. It turns out that the city is built on a deep bed of volcanic ash and pumice which is easily eroded by uncontrolled and unconstrained water systems. The foundation isn't solid and things that erode the foundation aren't "controlled."   How like our own lives this is. Both of the factors that lead to this disaster are dangerous and the combination is deadly.

I look at my own life and see the damage that has been caused when I allowed "erosion processes" to exist essentially unchecked. I look at the damage that was caused because I built things on a foundation that wasn't solid. Like the city in the picture, I have a lot of work to do to repair and fill in the "hole." Like Guatemala City I have to make a choice about what to do next.   Repair without addressing the underlying issue guarantees another disaster down the road a piece. Corrective actions that are started and never finished only delay (and sometimes increase the magnitude of) the inevitability of the next disaster.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

Blessings on your day

A Busy Calendar

2010-06-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

We have a brutally busy calendar this month. My birthday is this weekend, our anniversary the next weekend and Father's Day the weekend after. Tuesday Emma's dad arrives for a 2 week visit. We start the little league tournament play this Friday. Add to that the stress of frantically house hunting and you end up with no leisure time at all. Also, with our home going on the market, we won't even have the luxury of relaxing at home as the house has to be "model ready" 12 hours a day or more.

A Season

2010-06-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

I have been away for a week, taking a break. We have been considering buying a house and have spent the last 3 weeks or so frantically looking at every house in our price range as well as every new builder in this end of the county. We have seen house you couldn't live in without serious work, mansions with taxes that would cripple you, various stages of construction and houses that are, for lack of a better term, simply unremarkable.

In the process I have managed to repair, repaint and upgrade things around the house that have been hanging out for years (in some cases). We might be putting the house on the market this weekend if we can work out some of the details. So far we haven't got past the "let's talk about it stage" with any of the sellers. The bottom line is that I don't think the perfect house exists (at least not for me). In the meantime I am learning lots about short sales, REO property, Mello Roos and what the current trend in home building is like.

w00t!

2010-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Found this online and had to share it. Someone speculated as to how God might have disseminated the 10 commandments today - via text message.

GOD TEXTS THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
BY JAMIE QUATRO

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg's
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.
ttyl, JHWH.
ps. wwjd?

What About Me?

2010-05-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

The search and drive for autonomy consumes our society. We believe that we deserve it all, that we have a right to happiness, that we should answer to no one and that we are allowed to do whatever we want "as long as it doesn't hurt anybody." There are churches that teach that God wants to pour out riches on you, that God wants you to prosper (in this world), that God will heal anything at all if you "just have enough faith."

What a bunch of crap! The truth is that the prosperity God promises us is in the eternal not the temporal (as is the healing). The bible reminds us over and over that we are accountable to God and the people around us. The Word states clearly that what we can expect are trials and temptations. My parent's generation understood that you had to work hard for everything you wanted - that nothing came for free. My generation understands this but imperfectly. My children's generation seems to have no clue at all.

God wants us to be dependent on Him. He wants to have control of our lives - to be involved in all our decisions and to get the credit for all the blessings. When we surrender and give up on our quest for autonomy a lot of the stress and frustration fades. When we realize that He does a much better job of managing our lives than we do we have the chance to truly understand what peace is.

Who is in charge of Your life?

Quiet

2010-05-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

Not a lot going on today, it has been pretty quiet. I heard from J a bit ago. She sent out the address of her brother so we can get some snail-mail to him during basic training. It rained a bit today and the forecast still calls for rain tomorrow which might put the make up game for Noah at risk.

We had a new person join our Tuesday night men's group and we had one drop out. I will miss Sam, he is a great guy and such a vibrant part of the group. I hope he drops by from time to time as he is sorely missed.

RIP Douglas Adams

2010-05-25T10:48:00.001-07:00

A Rough Start

2010-05-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

My pager started screaming at me when I dropped Noah at daycare this morning. My System Administrator had me on the phone before I got out of Roseville and met me at my desk when I arrived. Never a good way to start the day, ya know?

The rain is supposed to be back this week. We are only 12 days away from setting a record for the coolest spring on record (and one of the wettest I can remember). Hard to believe the hype about Global Warming when my garden won't grow due to lack of sunlight and heat.

BTW, if you have never see Dr Horrible's Sing-along Blog, check it out on iTunes.

Away We Go

2010-05-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

The boy left for boot camp at 5:45 this morning (EDT). He will be in TX (near San Antonio) until the end of July. We basically get no contact with him until graduation. After he graduates, he will head to the Carolinas for tech school where he will earn to work on avionics. I know Andrew will do well. He is bright and very capable.

Musing

2010-05-24T13:07:00.000-07:00

It seems that over the past several years, most of my (our) life has been a struggle. Very little has come easily, simply or quickly. I know the whole thing about seasons and how we go through various seasons at different times. However, I feel like we are over due for a season of rest and simplicity.

There have been so many changes over the course of the last few years and now it appears that God is getting us ready for yet some more changes. Fortunately, today has been a quiet day at work. I have had the opportunity to clean up a few things that were left over from the maintenance runs over the weekend. The clouds are slowly moving in and it looks like we are in for another 2-3 days of rain. Some days I think we are living in Vancouver, B.C.

When is it easy?

2010-05-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with someone about how hard life is at times. My (internal) first reaction was "when isn't life hard?" I understand why they asked and I listened and did what I could to encourage and comfort. In my experience very little that has true and lasting value is easy. Sometimes I find myself in the midst of the struggle and the pain because that is just where I am - and sometimes it is the result of trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life after my own monumentally poor choices. Regardless of which it is for you in your life (and I decline to judge any of the casual readers out there), I do know that Our Lord is faithful to provide the healing that we need. This isn't to say that the pain is taken completely away (although He can if He choices) or that the consequences of our bad choices (if that is the issue) are vanished. God expects us to grow and to learn from our pain and the trials that He places (or we grab onto) in our lives.

Working through the pain, the hurt, the trials is what causes us to grow. I know people in their middle years that are still as shallow and superficial as a teenager. I know young adults that are strong, mature and decades older than their driver's license would indicate.

Regardless of the trial or the pain you are struggling with I encourage you to keep your feet moving through it. Don't avoid it, don't stuff it, don't disregard the value of it. Jesus knows each one of our tears and can match them to the wounds inflicted at the cross.

blessings on your day

Pray For Us

2010-05-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

The VOTD was from 1 Thessalonians this morning where Paul talks about constantly thanking God and praying for the church in Thessalonica. I know that this is something I need to do better at. We should be praying for our families, our church, our leaders and our country as a regular part of our time with God. All too often we get stuck on what we need, our problems or the immediate circumstances in our lives. We forget that we have an obligation to pray for the people in the list above.

I suppose I could go off into a rant about Christians who slam the government and the leaders but I won't. I will however, remind all the casual readers that ALL authority has been ordained (approved) by God and that He isn't blind-sides by elections, appointments or hires. Either He is in control or He isn't (ok, I did rant a little bit).

Sometime today, take a moment to pray for your church and your leaders. If all of us did this, who knows what blessings God would pour out.

My Eyes Are Dry

2010-05-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

One of Keith Green's songs has been running through my head this morning. It reminds me that we can't get complacent about God or growth. I find it easy to get complacent about the things of God - taking His blessings for granted, thinking I have "arrive" (that one about killed me a decade or so back), slacking on daily study and prayer.... It is easy for me to get complacent about growth - especially in my recover. Lose touch with my sponsor, start missing meetings, forget to read/review my study guides.

Complacency leads to all of the things in the song below. It leads to apathy, indifference and eventually to a fading that slides into death and destruction without us ever realizing what is happening. Wake up, get that virtual coffee and start moving your feet. Without movement, God can't direct our steps, lead us on the path or work in our lives. And without those things, we might as well be dead.

My eyes are dry

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me
But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it up
With oil and wine
The oil is You, Your Spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of Your Blood

They Are Here!

2010-05-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

The pictures from the cruise are posted in my Picasa folders. Email me if you don't have the link.

Enjoy

How Do You Do?

2010-05-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest challenges that evangelists face (well, at least in MY opinion) is how to present the Gospel in a way that people can hear and receive. Paul stated that he tries to be all things to all people when preaching the Gospel. This is a key concept and crucial to the effective evangelist. The ability to meet people where they are without judgment, pretension or barriers is one that few of us have mastered. I know that I struggle with this very thing. I have prejudices, biases and preconceptions. I make snap judgments based on language skills, hygiene and style of clothing. The result is that I probably miss out on opportunities to have relationships, meet new people and share Jesus.

While there are certainly other issues that can impede our ability to evangelize, this is certainly one of the things that has to be addressed to be effective and to be open and willing to go where God sends us.

blessings on your day

Home At Last

2010-05-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

We had a great time on our cruise. Noah tried all sorts of new foods (including escargot which he loved). We ate like kings (gained about 3 pounds which is darn good considering) and were treated like royalty. Royal Caribbean is a wonderful cruise line. The service is incredible and the amenities are superb. The picture above is from the Pirate Parade that they had the last night.

We took the time (and money) to do a lot more excursions than we usually do as Noah was with us for the first time. In Haiti (well the private island of Labadee actually) I did the zip line which was ok but not as thrilling as I had hoped. In Jamaica (Ocho Rios) we visited a cave and climbed the Dunn's River Falls (a mile long cascade that climbed over 900 feet) which was my favorite. Our guide carried our camera and got some awesome shots of us. In Georgetown, Grand Cayman we went snorkeling on a coral reef and went for a sail in a catamaran (no, I wasn't driving). In Cozumel we swam with dolphins at the National Park. We got to pet them, hold them and have them push us on a boogie board. It was a blast. My contacts worked very well and I was actually able to see while snorkeling and swimming with the dolphins.

Anyway, I will get back to my regular program here later today.

Waiting at MIA

2010-05-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Well the vacation is over and we had a blast. Noah loved the excursions (swimming with dolphins topped the list). We have another 9 hours before we get home, then back to work tomorrow.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

A Last Breakfast

2010-05-16T05:17:00.001-07:00

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Cozumel National Park

2010-05-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

At the dolphin experience

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Ice Show

2010-05-15T15:02:00.000-07:00

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Main Dining Room

2010-05-15T15:01:00.000-07:00

-- Sent from my Palm Pre